End the Frustration of Working With Men:
How to Confidently Take On, Motivate, and Guide Resistant Male Clients Into Loving Intimacy
Upgrade your approach to working with men with immediate access to five 90-minute classes taught by master couples therapist and expert in male psychology, Terry Real.
“ In the world of boys and men, you are either a winner or a loser, one up or one down, in control or controlled, man enough or a girl. Where in this setup is the capacity to love? ”
Here’s an Overview of Everything You Get In Working With Men
5 LIVE 90-minute Classes with Terry Real
In this 3-hour live-recorded workshop, Terry uncovers what’s really going on with men today – and the roadmap for helping men connect with themselves and others, practice emotional responsibility, and become strong, big-hearted, and whole human beings.
3 LIVE 90-minute Bonus Classes with Julie Rudiger
Join Julie for three bonus classes with Q&A to gain deeper, practical guidance on how to effectively run your own men’s coaching groups.
- Class 1: Thursday, October 9, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 2: Tuesday, October 14, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 3: Tuesday, October 21, 10–11:30 am ET
Lifetime Access to the Class Recordings and Course Material
Refer back to the material as many times as you need to support your work.
- Modern Masculinity with Terry Real
In this 1-hour class and live-recorded Q&A, Terry discusses the roots of male depression, performance-based self-esteem, and the cost of disconnection for their relationships, health, and families.
- From Boys to Men: Trauma and the Crisis of Masculinity with Carol Gilligan
A 1.5 hour conversation with Terry and feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan, exploring the influence of “traditional masculinity,” including how men learn to disconnect from their childhood wounds, emotions, or behaviors that are deemed “weak” or “vulnerable.”
- Working with the Many Parts of Men with Richard Schwartz
In this 1-hour interview, Terry and Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), discuss working with men and concepts of masculinity through both the RLT and IFS lenses.
- Male Aggression with Dr. James Gilligan
- In this 1-hour interview, Terry is joined by Dr. James Gilligan, a legendary psychiatrist specialized in the causes and prevention of violent behavior, to discuss male aggression toward themselves, other men, and women.
12 CEs are available to purchase for a $40 fee if you attend all 8 classes live and in full.
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
The Boys Our Culture Failed To Raise Are Now Disconnected Men in Need of Your Help
In our culture, boys and men are not raised to be intimate. They are raised to be competitive performers, whose self-worth hinges on their ability to achieve.
It’s an imposition placed on boys whether they want it or not, and we’re increasingly seeing the fallout of this in our offices…
Women are insisting upon greater levels of emotional competence from their partners, and men are ill-equipped to meet them.
This places both men and women in a complementary bind that not only fails to make things better, but often ensures they will get worse.
The answer is not asking women to stand down from their demands, it’s to give men the support and tools they need to step up and meet them.
Achieving this ambition requires a new approach – one that understands male conditioning and how to work with it.
And Here’s the Challenge Facing Us All…
Getting buy-in from male clients can make or break the effectiveness of your session. Yet clinicians regularly find themselves hitting a wall of resistance, defensiveness, or emotional shutdown – and many feel unequipped to break through.
Even the most seasoned therapists can struggle with grandiose, power-over men. Our own internalized patriarchal messaging can make it difficult to confidently confront dysfunctional behavior. Especially when we fear that difficult male clients may explode, withdraw, or fall apart if challenged.
That’s why Working With Men is essential training for therapists today. In this 5-class course, you’ll learn the exact tools and techniques Terry Real has used with thousands of male clients to create profound emotional growth and transform their relationships from the inside out.
What makes Working With Men different?
Not only are we not taught how to tell the truth to power under patriarchy…we’re actively taught not to. In Working With Men, you’ll learn how to confront grandiose and resistant men directly and compassionately for real accountability and transformation.
You’ll learn how to:
- Recognize how patriarchal conditioning and performance-based worth disconnect men.
- Build trust with grandiose or resistant clients while holding them lovingly accountable.
- Create leverage to motivate change and confront destructive behavior without shaming.
- Reframe emotional expression as strength using values like honor and integrity.
- Help men heal inherited trauma and become emotionally responsible partners and fathers.
Most importantly, this course acknowledges that taking on grandiose male clients who lack self-awareness, accountability, and the willingness to change requires skill and confidence.
Led by Terry Real, Working With Men gives you the practical tools and deep insights needed to move even the most resistant male clients into vulnerability, connection, and wholeness.
What You’ll Learn
Explore the Working With Men curriculum.
Class 1
Masculinity Now:
Understanding the Current Crisis and How We Got Here
🗓 Wednesday, September 10, 1–2:30 pm ET
You’ll explore:
- The cultural “male code” and psychological patriarchy, and how these create disconnection and dysfunction.
- Why men’s self-esteem is predominantly performance-based, and how this results in a drive to “earn” worth through accomplishments.
- Why grandiosity and shame are not opposites, but two sides of the same coin.
- How traditional masculinity operates as a form of trauma: both disempowering abuse (shame) and false empowerment (grandiosity).
- The challenges therapists face when working with men, and how to take sides, confront male grandiosity, and encourage emotional growth.
- How invulnerability and emotional unavailability have left men relationally impoverished and are now driving their partnerships apart.
- Key clinical techniques like “joining with the truth” and creating leverage to motivate change in men.
Class 2
Men in Relationships:
Disconnection, Conflict, and the Longing to Be Seen
🗓 Wednesday, September 17, 1–2:30 pm ET
You’ll explore:
- The Three Rings of Patriarchy – and how this framework perpetuates rigid gender roles and blocks intimacy.
- Ring 1: The Great Divide
- Ring 2: Dance of Contempt
- Ring 3: Protect Male Fragility
- How to reframe masculine identity and promote relational strength through concepts like the “Generous Gentleman.”
- Why men are conditioned to suppress emotional needs, resulting in a therapeutic focus that predominantly sides with women to promote intimacy.
- How male shame is rooted in impossible standards – and how to differentiate shame from guilt.
- How to shift men from performance-based self-esteem to intrinsic self-worth as a route to both success and connection.
- The Five Losing Strategies – and how these common ways of showing up in relationships escalate conflict, create disconnection, and block intimacy.
- RLT’s three-phase model to create deep, transformative change:
- Waking Up the Client to their relational impact
- Working Through the Trauma to identify adaptive strategies
- Teaching Relational Skills for lasting change
- The Relational Grid framework – a map to identify clients’ self-esteem and boundaries, and guide them back into the center of health
- The Serenity Prayer’s application for managing male anger, personal growth, and healthy relationships
Class 3
How to Engage Men:
Resistance and Relational Leverage
🗓 Wednesday, September 24, 1–2:30 pm ET
You’ll explore:
- Why traditional therapy approaches fail for men – and how most enter therapy due to women’s dissatisfaction rather than personal unhappiness.
- Why men can be difficult to engage – and a new approach that will allow you to reach them with accountability and warmth.
- How to identify the three types of difficult men: boys, bullies, and avoiders – and the tools to effectively work with each.
- How to create leverage and motivate men to create profound relational change without triggering collapse or resistance.
- Practical interventions and language examples for working with the three types of difficult men.
Class 4
Transforming Men by Reconstructing Masculinity
🗓 Wednesday, October 1, 1–2:30 pm ET
You’ll explore:
- Understanding and working with resistant, grandiose, one-up men who are walled off and disconnected from empathy, consequence, or emotional feedback.
- How to find and use positive and negative leverage to bypass resistance and motivate change.
- The seven lenses of relational diagnosis to accurately identify a couple’s dynamic through their “stance, stance, dance.”
- How to establish “the more, the more” pattern in the first client session – placing the blame on the pattern, not the person.
- How to join with, rather than shame, resistant men to engage them while still confronting harmful behaviors.
How to use systemic tools that engage the wider family system to create pressure for growth and deepen emotional impact.
Class 5
Bringing It Home:
Healing the Intergenerational Legacy and Creating Lasting Change
🗓 Wednesday, October 8, 1–2:30 pm ET
You’ll explore:
- The three core parts of the self: the Wounded Child, Adaptive Child, and Wise Adult.
- Principles of RLT inner child work, and how to use the client’s own Wise Adult self as the primary healing agent.
- How the Adaptive Child and trauma form simultaneously via reaction (disempowerment) and modelling (empowerment).
- Clinical examples of inner child work and how it can translate directly into relational repair.
- Why grandiosity isn’t always a trauma defense, and how many men develop unhealthy levels of self-esteem through false empowerment.
- How to support men in making sustained behavioral changes and integrating new relational habits through the lens of healthy masculinity.
Enroll in Working With Men Today
Our Promise and Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll love Working With Men, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
About Terry Real
Terry Real, the creator of Relational Life Therapy
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist, sought-after speaker, and bestselling author, who has transformed how we approach relationships.
He is the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a groundbreaking therapeutic approach that equips people with the essential relational skills to build and sustain authentic connections—to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole.
The author of four books, Terry’s most recent is the New York Times bestseller, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which guides readers toward deeper intimacy and fulfillment.
Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce. Through his esteemed training school, the Relational Life Institute, he has trained thousands of mental health practitioners in his RLT method to date.
Terry is committed to relational empowerment, helping everyone develop the skills needed for meaningful, lasting relationships.
Julie Rudiger, LCSW, Private Practice, Denver, Co area
Julie Rudiger has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for the last 30 years. In 2002, Julie opened her private practice, where she has helped hundreds of individuals and couples over the last three decades. Her professional journey took a transformative turn in 2008 when she began training with Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Julie has since used RLT to guide clients in discovering self-esteem, healing early wounds, and fostering deeper, more authentic relationships.
A faculty member at the Relational Life Institute since 2022, Julie now trains other therapists and leads community workshops, including Men’s Groups and Relationship Skills Bootcamps. Additionally, she is trained in EMDR, ACT, DBT, Gestalt, and the Enneagram.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this course live?
Yes—this course consists of 5 LIVE 90-minute classes with Terry Real and 3 bonus 90-minute classes with Julie Rudiger from the RLI Faculty.
When are the classes?
The classes take place on the following dates and times:
90-minute LIVE classes with Terry Real:
- Class 1: Wednesday, September 10, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 2: Wednesday, September 17, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 3: Wednesday, September 24, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 4: Wednesday, October 1, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 5: Wednesday, October 8, 1–2:30 pm ET
90-minute LIVE bonus classes with Julie Rudiger:
- Class 1: Thursday, October 9, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 2: Tuesday, October 14, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 3: Tuesday, October 21, 10–11:30 am ET
What if I can’t make all of the live classes?
Don’t worry—all classes will be recorded and stored in your private learning platform, the RLT Hub, for you to watch at your convenience. You’ll receive log in and access details as soon as you enroll.
How long will I have access to the course material?
Forever! You’ll have lifetime access to the class recordings inside the private learning platform, to watch back as many times as you like.
Are CEs available?
Yes—7.5 CEs are available for professionals who attend all five live calls with Terry Real for an additional $40 fee. Find more information on CEs here.
What is your money-back guarantee?
We’re confident you’ll love Working With Men, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
Learn to Build Trust, Motivate, and Guide Your Male Clients Into Healthy Connection, Emotional Responsibility, and Fulfilling Intimacy
