Diagnose A Couple So Clearly They Feel Seen, Hopeful, and Ready To Do The Work
Get the step-by-step roadmap for understanding any relationship problem with the kind of precision that builds trust from the very first session. Enroll in RLT Level 1 and learn how to:
- 8 diagnostic lenses to accurately reveal what’s really driving a couple’s conflict
- Confront destructive behavior directly – without losing your clients
- Gather leverage early so sessions move forward instead of circling
100% Money-Back Guarantee
10 Continuing Ed Credit Hours Included Upon successful completion of a short online assessment.
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
International Coaching Federation (ICF) has approved this program for 7 Core Competency hours and 3 Resource Development hours. (Please note: Resource Development includes training formerly called Personal Development, Business Development, or Other Skills and Tools).
For therapists and coaches who want to stop mediating conflict and start transforming it
Every effective intervention begins with one thing:
A clear understanding of what’s really going on.
When you have that clarity, you can confidently keep even the most volatile couples moving forward. Without it, you risk spending your time:
- Mediating the surface-level fight of the week, while the deeper pattern of dysfunction remains untouched.
- Teaching excellent communication tools… then hearing your clients went right back to their old patterns between sessions.
- Walking on eggshells around entitled and overempowered partners, unsure how to get them to engage in the work.
In sessions filled with blame or shutdown, finding the truth beneath the layers of pain and resentment is anything but straightforward.
What if you could reliably…
- Resonates so strongly your clients feel seen in a way they haven’t before,
- Gives them real hope that change is possible, and
- Builds trust that you’re the one who can help them achieve it.
That’s what Terry Real has done for more than 40 years – not by waiting for insight to arise, but by utilizing 8 diagnostic lenses that make the core of relationship problems unmistakably clear.
You’ll learn how to use those exact lenses in RLT Level 1 to give you confidence, clarity, and a way to help clients see – often for the first time – how they’re co-creating the disconnection.
“Now I have a road map and I know how to begin to make sense of what's going on in a relationship.”
Get Instant Access to the Roadmap for Cutting to the Heart of the Problem in Relationships
Relational Life Therapy Level 1
A clear, structured approach to the most complex work you’ll ever do.
By the end of this program, you’ll be able to:
Lead with clarity
So you walk into sessions knowing exactly what to track.
Diagnose with precision
See what’s really driving the dysfunction.
Guide the process
Keep even volatile couples moving forward.
Stay grounded
So you leave sessions energized instead of depleted.
Work with reactivity
Address power, shame, and disconnection head-on.
Speak hard truths
Confront skillfully while staying connected.
Your training includes recorded teaching, footage of real RLT couples therapy, and role plays of challenging couples dynamics to help you build fluency and apply the method confidently in practice.
Whether you’re looking to go deeper in your couples work, or want a diagnostic map you can rely on when sessions go off track, RLT Level 1 offers a clear, practical foundation to guide your approach.
And with on-demand access, you can work through the modules at your own pace.
You’ll get instant access to all five modules and special bonuses, so you can start learning right away and integrate the material into your practice on a timeline that works for you.
5,000+
40 Years
10
Featured in
Built on 40 years of clinical expertise, Relational Life Therapy draws from decades of real-world practice, research, and proven results.
What You’ll Learn
Module 1: The Three Phases of RLT and How They Work
This opening module reframes the entire approach to couples therapy by introducing the three foundational phases of RLT and how they work together to generate transformation.
You’ll learn:
- Why traditional neutrality often leads to therapeutic paralysis, and what to do instead.
- The 3 phases of RLT, and how they create a clear arc for relational repair.
- How to view the couple as a living system, rather than two parallel individuals.
Module 2: Building a Clearer Diagnostic Picture from the Start
Module 2 introduces the first three diagnostic lenses, helping you get beneath the presenting problem and help clients move beyond individual empowerment into relational empowerment.
You’ll learn:
- How to surface two distinct presenting problems and why this matters for every session that follows
- The 3 preconditions that must be ruled out before intimacy work can begin
Module 3: Losing Strategies and Family Roles
Go deeper into the couple’s dysfunction by connecting the Adaptive Child’s Losing Strategies with the Family Roles learned in childhood. You’ll gain a structured way to name each partner’s protective moves without shame or blame and see how they combine into the couple’s repeating dance.
You’ll learn:
- Recognize the five Losing Strategies that keep couples stuck in cycles of conflict and disconnection.
- Identify and name Adaptive Child protective behaviors without shaming the client.
- Trace Family Roles from childhood into each partner’s present relational pattern.
Module 4: Relationship Grid and Blatant/Latent Dynamics
Use the Relationship Grid to assess self-esteem and boundaries, then add the Blatant/Latent lens to see how each partner sustains the system and what each needs to do differently.
You’ll learn:
- Map the four Relationship Grid positions through self-esteem and boundary patterns.
- Shift your approach based on where each client sits in the grid.
- Identify the Blatant/Latent dynamic without relying on gender stereotypes.
Module 5: Socio-Cultural Context, Leverage, and Reconnection
Add Socio-Cultural Context to the full eight-lens map, gather leverage, and use Joining Through the Truth to move from diagnosis into a clear therapeutic contract.
You’ll learn:
- Recognize how social identity and power shape the couple’s relational system.
- Gather positive and negative leverage without collapsing into blame or rescue.
- Synthesize the eight lenses into a clear therapeutic contract while staying connected and moving toward reconnection.
Plus Instant Access to 5 Special Bonuses
75-Minute Live Couples Therapy Demonstration with Terry Real
The fastest way to internalize the eight diagnostic lenses is to see them in action.
Observe Terry conduct a real Phase 1 intervention with a couple, showing how he gathers data, reads the system, and begins to name the dynamic. This demonstration bridges the gap between theory and practice so you can better translate the model into your own sessions.
3 Video Demonstrations: RLT Role-Plays with Faculty
In these clip-length demonstrations, experienced RLT faculty role-play common couples dynamics and show how a practitioner can navigate them using Phase 1 data-gathering tools. You’ll see the subtle moves, from tracking interaction patterns to asking the right questions, that help reveal the deeper structure beneath the surface conflict.
Trauma, Truth and Healing: A Conversation with Gabor Maté
In this 60-minute interview, Terry sits down with Dr. Gabor Maté for an intimate dialogue on the relationship between trauma, emotional repression, and relational repair. Together they explore the physical and relational toll of unresolved trauma and how both therapists and clients can begin to heal.
On the Roots of RLT: A Conversation with Carol Gilligan
Go behind the scenes of RLT’s origin story in this rare discussion between Terry and world-renowned feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan.
From the influence of relational ethics to the evolving role of gender in therapy, this conversation offers deeper insight into the intellectual foundations that shaped RLT and why it remains a timely, radical approach to working with couples.
The RLT Q&A Vault: Real Questions. Clear Answers.
This curated video collection features some of the most insightful questions from past RLT Level 1 cohorts covering everything from what to do if a couple’s stories don’t match to working with resentful clients who don’t want to change.
What Practitioners Are Saying About RLT
"RLT pulled everything together into a clear, comprehensive framework that solidified my practice.
There are certain things that are right and wrong, and we’ve got to call them out… [RLT] It gave me permission to do therapy the way I always believed it should be done… If you want to work with couples with integrity, this is the modality you should learn.”
Dr. Gloria Lee, Psychologist, PsyD, RPsych
Burnaby, BC
“It’s a soft, simple methodology that gets to the root cause very quickly.
Even in difficult cases like infidelity, I was able to handle so much more effectively because of RLT… It’s a very effective way to be with a client.”
Nasim Mughal
Licensed Psychotherapist
Karachi, Pakistan
“Now I have a road map and I know how to begin to make sense of what's going on in a relationship.”
When I think about how I used to approach my work with couples and how I approach my work now… I didn’t know what I was doing, but I didn’t know I didn’t know. Now, I have this clarity and knowledge about what it is that I can deliver to them that’s going to be helpful.”
Brenda Forster
Clinical Counsellor, M.Ed., R.C.C.
Kelowna, BC
"I feel great about the work I'm doing with couples.
For most of my couples, their course of therapy is between six months to two years. Whereas before some couples I would be seeing for like up to five years and still not really feeling like the strong tangible results were there.”
Rachel Keller
Clinical Social Worker, LCSW-C, CST
Baltimore, MD
“I used to be worn out working with couples, but now I love it.
I’ve done all kinds of trainings over the years but never found a model that truly fit for me. I had become “eclectic” in my approach, never really mastering any one approach. I longed for a model that encouraged me to myself—open, authentic, and most importantly, effective. I found my home in RLT.”
Sig Taylor
MSW, RSW, RMFT
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Discover The 8 Diagnostic Lenses of Relational Life Therapy
At the heart of RLT Level 1 is a structured approach to what we call waking up the client – helping them recognize the real role they play in their relational dynamic. To do that effectively, you’ll learn to assess each couple through 8 specific diagnostic lenses that bring clarity to even the most complex relationships.
Presenting Problem(s)
When you have that clarity, you can confidently keep even the most volatile couples moving forward. Without it, you risk spending your time:
Preconditions
Screen for issues that must be addressed before relational work can begin. This includes factors like active addiction, psychiatric instability, or ongoing abuse.
Stance-Stance-Dance
Identify each partner’s relational stance and the repetitive loop they co-create. This lens reveals the dynamic that keeps them stuck.
Losing Strategies
Spot the five automatic behaviors that derail intimacy. These include being right, controlling, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, and withdrawal.
Relationship Grid
Map each partner’s relational posture by assessing their self-esteem and boundaries – particularly how grandiosity or shame shows up in the dynamic.
Family Roles
Explore which childhood survival role each partner adopted, such as the hero, scapegoat, or lost child, and how that role influences their adult relationships.
Blatant/Latent
Assess how power is expressed in the relationship. Latent partners tend to be indirect or passive, while blatant partners are more overt, dominant, or grandiose.
Socio-Cultural Context
Account for broader cultural factors like gender, race, class, and privilege. This lens helps you recognize how social identity shapes power, expectation, and behavior in the relationship.
Together, these lenses give you a clear, multidimensional understanding of each partner and the dynamic between them, so you can lead the work with structure and confidence.
Your Teachers
Terry Real
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist and bestselling author.
Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his remarkable ability to save couples on the brink of divorce. He has trained thousands of therapists in his RLT model to help them achieve similar results.
RLT Faculty
Our senior RLT faculty play an integral role in training the next generation of therapists. Each brings a deep understanding of the RLT model and their own clinical experience, demonstrating how this powerful framework can be adapted to practitioners’ own therapeutic styles.
Learn with our faculty in RLT Level 1 as they guide you through clinical role plays and answer commonly asked questions inside the Q&A Vault.
Try RLT Level 1, risk-free.
When you join, you’ll get full access to all 5 on-demand modules with Terry Real, plus bonus resources – risk-free.
We’re confident you’ll love RLT Level 1, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind.
If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, just email us within 2 days after purchase and we’ll refund you in full. No questions asked.
Join RLT Level 1 and get:
- 5 core on-demand training modules taught by Terry Real
- Lifetime access to all training materials in your private student portal
- 10 NBCC-approved Continuing Education credits available upon successful completion of a short online assessment
- Instant access to 5 powerful bonuses, including a full-length couples therapy session and role plays of challenging couples dynamics.
Considering RLT Certification?
RLT Level 1 is the first step of the full certification pathway. If you choose to continue later,
your full Level 1 tuition will be credited toward the certification.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this version live or self-paced?
This is the evergreen home-study version of RLT Level 1. It is fully self-paced, has no required live dates or calls, and can be started at any time. Terry Real’s teaching is prerecorded, so you can work through the course on your own schedule.
What is included?
Enrollment includes five core training modules, demonstrations and role-plays, recorded faculty Q&A material, transcripts, summaries, downloadable resources, bonus teaching, and lifetime access to the course materials.
Can I earn Continuing Education credits?
Yes. The Level 1 home-study course offers 10 continuing education credit hours at no additional cost. After completing the course, pass the online assessment with a score of at least 80%. RLI is an NBCC Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. ICF has approved 7 Core Competency hours and 3 Resource Development hours. Eligibility rules vary, so review the current Continuing Education details and confirm requirements with your licensing or credentialing body.
I’m a coach rather than a therapist. Is Level 1 suitable for me?
Yes. Level 1 is designed for therapists and coaches who support people in relational growth. Coaches seeking continuing education credit should confirm their eligibility with ICF or their credentialing body.
I work mainly with individuals. Will this still help me?
Yes. Although RLT is rooted in couples work, the diagnostic lenses and approaches to shame, power, reactivity, and recurring relationship patterns can also strengthen individual work.
Will this help with stuck or high-conflict couples?
Yes. RLT is known to be highly effective with stuck and high-conflict couples. Level 1 gives you the foundational framework for identifying the relational patterns that keep clients stuck and responding to destructive behavior without losing the therapeutic connection. It is the beginning of becoming a practitioner who is well versed in RLT; skill and competency continue to develop through clinical judgment, practice, and further training.
Are there prerequisites?
No. Level 1 is a complete, standalone foundational training. It is also the prerequisite for later RLT training levels and the certification pathway.
Does completing Level 1 make me a certified RLT therapist?
No. Level 1 is the first step in the RLT Certification journey, but it does not by itself confer RLT certification. If you later choose to continue into the RLT Certification program, the amount you paid for Level 1 will be credited toward the certification cost. Competency develops through practice and continued training.
How do I access the course after purchasing?
Shortly after your purchase, you will receive an email with instructions for accessing the RLI learning platform. Use the same email address you entered at checkout. If you do not see the email, check your spam or junk folder. If it still has not arrived within 30 minutes, contact support@terryreal.com with your purchase details.
Join RLT Level 1 and get:
- 5 core on-demand training modules taught by Terry Real
- Lifetime access to all training materials in your private student portal
- 10 NBCC-approved Continuing Education credits available upon successful completion of a short online assessment
- Instant access to 5 powerful bonuses, including a full-length couples therapy session and role plays of challenging couples dynamics.
You’re Protected by a 100% Money-Back Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll love RLT Level 1, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 2 days after purchase and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
