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Continuing Ed credits for this course are available only when offered LIVE ONLY.
New dates coming SOON!
Every effective intervention starts with one thing:
A deep understanding of what’s really going on.
Get that right, and you’ve got a roadmap. A way to lead the session with purpose, direction, and a real chance at repair. Miss it, and you risk circling surface issues, managing reactivity, and never quite touching the core – session after session..
That kind of clarity is rarely handed to you.
In sessions filled with blame, shutdown, or dead silence, finding the truth beneath the layers of pain and resentment is anything but straightforward.
But what if, even in your toughest sessions, you could…
It’s exactly what Terry Real has been doing for over 30 years, stepping into highly reactive rooms and naming what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Not by waiting for insight to emerge. But by using a clear, structured method that shows you what to look for, what to say, and how to lead the work forward.
That method is built on 8 powerful diagnostic lenses. Each one revealing a different piece of the couple’s story.
At the heart of RLT Level 1 is a structured approach to what we call waking up the client – helping them recognize the real role they play in their relational dynamic. To do that effectively, you’ll learn to assess each couple through 8 specific diagnostic lenses that bring clarity to even the most complex relationships.
Clarify each partner’s core complaint. RLT always treats two individuals, never just
a relationship, so every case begins with identifying two distinct narratives.
Screen for issues that must be addressed before relational work can begin. This includes factors like active addiction, psychiatric instability, or ongoing abuse.
Identify each partner’s relational stance and the repetitive loop they co-create. This lens reveals the dynamic that keeps them stuck.
Spot the five automatic behaviors that derail intimacy. These include being right, controlling, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, and withdrawal.
Map each partner’s relational posture by assessing their self-esteem and boundaries – particularly how grandiosity or shame shows up in the dynamic.
Explore which childhood survival role each partner adopted, such as the hero, scapegoat, or lost child, and how that role influences their adult relationships.
Assess how power is expressed in the relationship. Latent partners tend to be indirect or passive, while blatant partners are more overt, dominant, or grandiose.
Account for broader cultural factors like gender, race, class, & privilege. This lens helps you recognize how social identity shapes power, expectation, & behavior in the relationship.
RLT Level 1 is a five-module online training that brings you into the room with Terry Real as he teaches the 8 diagnostic lenses behind Relational Life Therapy. You’ll explore how to assess couples through reactive patterns, family roles, power dynamics, shame, and social context – and learn how to use this framework in your own practice.
Training includes recorded teaching, real demonstrations, and guided integration to help you build fluency and apply the method confidently in practice.
Whether you’re looking to go deeper in your couples work, or want a diagnostic map you can rely on when sessions go off track, RLT Level 1 offers a clear, practical foundation to guide your approach.
Know exactly what to track & how to intervene.
Hold complexity without absorbing the chaos.
See what’s really driving the dysfunction.
Address power, shame, disconnection head-on.
Interrupt patterns and move couples forward.
Confront skillfully while staying connected.
Shift how you see and work with couples.
Before you can change what’s happening between two partners, you need to know what you’re looking at. This opening module reframes the entire approach to couples therapy by introducing the three foundational phases of RLT and how they work together to generate transformation.
You’ll also learn why conventional neutrality can backfire, and what it means to diagnose relational dynamics rather than individual pathology.
Once you understand the RLT model, the next step is learning how to apply it in real time. Module 2 introduces the first three lenses of relational diagnosis and shows you how to gather targeted, in-the-moment data that reveals each partner’s stance and the deeper patterns beneath the conflict.
Go deeper into the heart of the couple’s dysfunction by decoding their reactive strategies and early conditioning. This module introduces the concept of the Adaptive Child and the five Losing Strategies, giving you a structured way to name each partner’s reactivity without shame or blame.
Zoom out to consider the larger forces shaping the couple’s dynamic. This module takes you deeper into the structural forces shaping their behavior. You’ll learn how to use the Relational Grid to assess self-esteem and boundaries, and how early family roles continue to shape how each partner shows up in their relationships.
In this final module, Terry introduces the last two diagnostic lenses – Blatant/Latent Power and Social Context – giving you the complete RLT assessment framework.
From there, you’ll learn how to use this full map to build leverage, confront stuck patterns with clarity, and motivate even resistant clients to move towards change.
Continuing Ed credits for this course are available only when offered LIVE ONLY.
New dates coming SOON!
The fastest way to internalize the 8 diagnostic lenses is to see them in action.
Observe Terry conduct a real Phase 1 intervention with a couple, showing how he gathers data, reads the system, and begins to name the dynamic. This demonstration bridges the gap between theory and practice so you can better translate the model into your own sessions.
In these demonstration clips, experienced RLT faculty role-play common couples dynamics and show how a practitioner can navigate them using Phase 1 data-gathering tools.
You’ll see the subtle moves, from tracking interaction patterns to asking the right questions, that help reveal the deeper structure beneath the surface conflict.
In this 60-minute interview, Terry sits down with Dr. Gabor Maté for an intimate dialogue on the relationship between trauma, emotional repression, and relational repair.
Together they explore the physical and relational toll of unresolved trauma and how both therapists and clients can begin to heal.
Go behind the scenes of RLT’s origin story in this rare discussion between Terry and world-renowned feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan.
From the influence of relational ethics to the evolving role of gender in therapy, this conversation offers deeper insight into the intellectual foundations that shaped RLT and why it remains a timely, radical approach to working with couples.
Ever wish you could sit in on office hours w/ senior RLT faculty? This curated collection features some of the most insightful questions from past RLT Level 1 cohorts covering everything from trauma boundaries to building leverage, managing stuck sessions, and adapting RLT to different contexts.
practitioners trained in RLT Level 1
of clinical training and bonus content
countries represented by past students
For over three decades, Terry Real has sat across from couples on the brink – yelling, shutting down, ready to walk away. And session after session, he’s helped them come back.
Not by sitting back and listening. But by leaning in with radical honesty, fierce compassion, and the clarity to name exactly what’s happening in the room. That’s what Terry is known for. He’s the therapist other therapists turn to when nothing else is working, the one who can untangle even the most entrenched dynamics and help people change for good.
To make his method teachable, Terry distilled everything he knows into a clear model called Relational Life Therapy (RLT), now taught to thousands of clinicians and coaches through the Relational Life Institute. Terry is also the author of four books, including I Don’t Want to Talk About It, the first book ever published on male depression, and the New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.
Through RLT Level 1, you’ll gain the same diagnostic foundation Terry has used in real rooms with real couples so you can stop circling the surface and start changing lives.
For more than two decades, Kate Harris has guided couples and individuals toward deeper connection and clarity. She discovered Relational Life Therapy in 2015, and after attending an RLT bootcamp with her husband in 2017, witnessed firsthand how the method deepened their 32-year marriage. That experience led her to seek certification, and in 2018 she became a founding faculty member at the Relational Life Institute.
Kate brings together RLT with Internal Family Systems, mindfulness, values-based coaching, and spiritual inquiry.
In this training, you’ll also learn from her through a series of live-recorded deep dives where she helps therapists translate the eight diagnostic lenses into powerful, real-world clinical tools. Her grounded, compassionate teaching supports clinicians in bridging theory and practice, making each session both effective and relationally present.
We’re confident that once you complete RLT Level 1, you’ll walk into couples sessions with more clarity, structure, and clinical confidence than ever before.
But if you go through the training and feel it hasn’t meaningfully improved the way you see and assess couples, simply email us within 14 days of your purchase, and we’ll refund you in full. No questions asked.
This is your risk-free way to experience the efficacy of the RLT method, and decide for yourself if it belongs in your practice.
Yes. RLT Level 1 is designed for both therapists and coaches. In fact, many coaches already use RLT’s principles to deepen their client work. If you support people in relational growth, then this training will serve you well.
Absolutely. While RLT is rooted in couples work, the diagnostic tools and confrontational techniques are just as powerful in individual therapy, especially with clients working through relational trauma, boundary issues, or recurring patterns in relationships. You’ll walk away with new language, sharper insights, and strategies you can use immediately – even one-on-one.
Yes. Terry built RLT as a direct response to the limitations of traditional couples therapy. He’s often known as the “last resort” therapist, called in when nothing else has worked. This method was designed for the toughest cases: high-conflict couples, chronic resentment, emotional shutdown, infidelity, even situations on the brink of divorce.
We offer a risk-free window so you can experience the first module and decide if the training is right for you.
If after completing Module 1, including the live Q&A with Dr. Kate Harris, you don’t feel the program delivers the clarity or value you expected, simply email us within 48 hours of the module’s release and we’ll refund you in full. No hassle. No hard feelings.
You don’t have to, but we recommend it. The best way to build fluency with the RLT model is to start experimenting with the tools in session. Even applying one lens at a time can create powerful shifts. You’ll be surprised how quickly it clicks.
RLT stands apart in both philosophy and practice. It goes beyond managing conflict or building communication skills. It’s about calling out the core relational dynamics that keep couples stuck, and intervening with bold, compassionate truth-telling.
Where many methods stay neutral, RLT teaches you to lead. Where others rely on emotional safety first, RLT often works in real-time, even in the heat of the moment.
We hold deep respect for other modalities, and many of our students integrate RLT seamlessly with their existing training.
RLT Level 1 is trauma-informed but it does not teach the actual trauma work. That’s covered in Level 2.
Why? Because RLT takes trauma seriously. Before teaching you how to guide clients through deep healing, Level 1 ensures you know how to “wake them up” so you can interrupt dysfunctional patterns, expose adaptive child strategies, and get them ready for deeper work.
Without this foundation, trauma work in couples therapy can be ineffective, or worse, harmful. That’s why we build it in phases.
Not at first, and that’s okay. Terry may be able to identify root issues in a single session, but he invented the method and has 40+ years of experience.
As a new practitioner, you’re encouraged to take your time. RLT teaches you how to layer 8 diagnostic lenses over time, building a rich, nuanced picture of what’s really going on beneath the surface. With practice, precision comes.
Level 1 is a complete and self-contained training. Many graduates have made immediate improvements in their client outcomes after completing just this course.
That said, RLT is a deep and evolving model, and if you choose to go further, Level 2 and full certification are always available to you.
The Relational Life Therapy Level 1 Training
Homestudy Course Continuing Ed Details
Facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW
This home study course is approved for continuing education hours as described below.
NBCC (National Board of Certified Counsellors)
7.5 CE hours for Beginner Mental Health Professionals
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
ACEP No. 7495
Target Audience
Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFTs, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors
Course Content Level
The course content is appropriate for beginner level clinicians.
Course Description
Terry Real presents RLI’s introductory training course, Relational Life Therapy Level 1.
Over five recorded classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT) as taught by Terry Real. RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model.
During this course, students will discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and lasting results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through The Truth, and psychological patriarchy.
RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings to deepen your understanding of Relational Life Therapy.
Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:
Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:
Continuing Ed Credits Available: 7.5 NBCC credit hours ($40 additional fee)
CE Certificate Requirements:
It is the participant’s responsibility to check if their Board, state, organization is approved for these Continuing Ed credit hours. There is no partial credit. No refunds will be given on CE purchases for failure to check state approval.
Cost
This course is $397.00 for a single payment or three payments of $137.00
Commercial Support Disclaimer
There is no conflict of interest for this program.
Cancellation Policy
You may request a refund up to 2 days after purchase.
Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.
Accommodations
If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com
Instructor’s Bios:
Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians. Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
BONUS Material Instructors (CE hours not included in bonus content)
Dr. Gabor Maté is a physician who specialized in family practice, palliative care, and addiction medicine. A renowned speaker, physician, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, childhood trauma, stress, and mind/body connection. He is called a “people whisperer” for his gift of seeing deep inside anyone. His life’s work is dedicated to liberating people from their childhood trauma so that they can make a choice of how to live in the present moment.
Carol Gilligan, Ph.D., of New York, NY has been recognized by many institutions and organizations for her efforts in the area of women’s advancement and moral psychology. She studied literature at Swarthmore College as an undergrad, and she graduated from Radcliffe in 1960 with a master’s in psychology. She continued to Harvard, where she received her Ph.D. in psychology in 1964. Three years later, Gilligan took a teaching position at Harvard where she worked alongside Erik Erikson and Lawrence Kohlberg. While Gilligan worked as a research assistant along Kohlberg, known for his theory of moral development, she began focusing on the moral dilemmas and development of young girls. In addition to the Grawemeyer Award for Education, Gilligan has also received the Heinz Award for Human Condition and was named one of the most influential people of the year by TIME Magazine in 1996. She has also published works of fiction and developed a full-length play based on Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter.
Please Note: Licensing Boards change regulations often and while we attempt to stay abreast of their most recent changes, if you have questions or concerns about this course meeting your specific board’s approval, we recommend you contact your board directly to obtain a ruling.
Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com; www.relationallife.com
AWAITING Conference CE REQUIREMNTS
The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:
An Introduction to Relational Life Therapy
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
ACEP No. 7495
Format: A one-day LIVE training facilitated by Desirae Ysasi, LPC-S, RLI Director of Faculty
Location: Regent’s University London, Inner Cir, London NW1 4NS, United Kingdom
Continuing Education credits offered: 5.5 credit hours.
At the completion of this course, all participants will be invited by email to purchase the 5.5 CE credits for a $40 fee. To receive a certificate, you must attend the full course. There is no partial credit, attendance will be taken.
Content: If you’re new to the Relational Life Therapy (RLT) model – or just want to revisit the foundations ahead of your training with 2-Day Training with Terry Real. Join RLI’s Director of Training Desirae Ysasi for a pre-workshop training the day before Terry Real’s course begin.
You’ll explore the theory behind RLT, along with some of the effective tools and strategies that move couples toward meaningful change.
Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:
Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors
Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.
Cost:
Oct 27th one-day training with Desirae ONLY: £170 early bird until July 1 (then £195)
Oct 28-29th two-day training with Terry ONLY: £375 early bird until July 1 (then £425)
BOTH events (3 full days of training): £545 early bird until July 1 (then £620)
Course Dates & Hours: Monday, October 27, 2025, from 9am to 4pm
TO REGISTER: Please visit: https://relationallife.com/london-2025-trainings
Cancellation Policy:
We know sometimes plans can change so you’re protected by a 100% money-back guarantee until September 26, 2025. Please contact us at support@terryreal.com before September 26, 2025, and we will refund you. Any cancellations after this date will not be eligible for refunds.
If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com
Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com
Instructor’s Bio:
Desirae Ysasi, LPC-S is a Licensed Professional Counselor – Supervisor with nearly two decades of experience, specializing in relationship counseling. Serving the San Antonio community since 2006, she works exclusively with couples in romantic relationships, folks in non-traditional romantic relationship structures (ethical nonmonogamy), and adults seeking to improve family dynamics. Desirae became a Certified Relational Life Therapist in 2018 trained directly by Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). She joined the faculty of the Relational Life Institute in 2022 and now serves as Director of Training & Certification, overseeing the global certification program. She has been the owner of Ysasi Counseling since 2014 and in the fall of 2024, Desirae opened Relational Life Texas, a virtual therapy group practice focused on RLT, providing relationship therapy across Texas.
CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.
Grievance Procedure:
If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for
the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files.
A copy of this Grievance Procedure is available upon request.
Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com
The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:
The RLT Level 1 Training Course
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
ACEP No. 7495
FORMAT: Five LIVE Online Sessions on Zoom, facilitated by Bonny Slim, LMFT and Terry Real, LICSW
Continuing Education credits offered: 10 credit hours for 5 Classes. Full attendance required.
Requirements for CE Certificate: At the end of this course, you’ll receive an email inviting you to request your Continuing Education certificate.
The certificate is free of charge. To qualify, you must:
Course Content:
Over five live classes you’ll be introduced to the powerful principals behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT Level 1 is designed to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model.
Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described. Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness, Joining Through the Truth, and psychological patriarchy.
RLT Level 1 is the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.
Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to:
Throughout the course, you’ll gain deeper competency in and be able to:
Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors
Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.
Cost: $395 in full; or 3 payments of $179 each
Course Dates & Hours:
Each class will meet from 12pm to 2pm Eastern Time on these dates:
Session 1 – January 22, 2026
Session 2 – January 29, 2026
Session 3 – February 5, 2026
Session 4 – February 12, 2026
Session 5 – February 19, 2026
TO REGISTER: Please visit this site for registration:
https://relationallife.com/level-1-training
Cancellation Policy: You may request a refund up to 2 days after the first live session.
Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel your purchase.
If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com
Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com
Instructor’s Bios:
Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians. Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.
Grievance Procedure:
If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for
the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files.
A copy of this Grievance Procedure is available upon request.
Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com
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