Diagnose A Couple So Clearly They Feel Seen, Hopeful, and Ready To Do The Work
Get the step-by-step roadmap for understanding any relationship problem with the kind of precision that builds trust from the very first session. Enroll in RLT Level 1 and learn how to:
- Use the 8 diagnostic lenses that reveal what’s really driving a couple’s conflict
- Confront destructive behavior directly – without losing your clients
- Gather leverage early so sessions move forward instead of circling
100% Money-Back Guarantee
Diagnose A Couple So Clearly They Feel Seen, Hopeful, and Ready To Do The Work
Learn the step-by-step roadmap for understanding any relationship problem with the kind of precision that builds trust from the very first session. Enroll in RLT Level 1 today to get:
- 8 diagnostic lenses to accurately reveal what’s really driving a couple’s conflict
- Lifetime access to the full 5-module course so you can revisit anytime
- 10 Continuing Ed credit hours when you attend live
100% Money-Back Guarantee
10 Continuing Ed Credit Hours Included when you attend all five classes LIVE.
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
For therapists and coaches who want to stop mediating conflict and start transforming it
Every effective intervention begins with one thing:
A clear understanding of what’s really going on.
When you have that clarity, you can confidently keep even the most volatile couples moving forward. Without it, you risk spending your time:
- Mediating the surface-level fight of the week, while the deeper pattern of dysfunction remains untouched.
- Teaching excellent communication tools… then hearing your clients went right back to their old patterns between sessions.
- Walking on eggshells around entitled and overempowered partners, unsure how to get them to engage in the work.
In sessions filled with blame or shutdown, finding the truth beneath the layers of pain and resentment is anything but straightforward.
What if you could reliably…
- Resonates so strongly your clients feel seen in a way they haven’t before,
- Gives them real hope that change is possible, and
- Builds trust that you’re the one who can help them achieve it.
That’s what Terry Real has done for more than 40 years – not by waiting for insight to arise, but by utilizing 8 diagnostic lenses that make the core of relationship problems unmistakably clear.
You’ll learn how to use those exact lenses in RLT Level 1 to give you confidence, clarity, and a way to help clients see – often for the first time – how they’re co-creating the disconnection.
“Now I have a road map and I know how to begin to make sense of what's going on in a relationship.”
Join the guided cohort with weekly live deep dives from January 22
Relational Life Therapy Level 1
A clear, structured approach to the most complex work you’ll ever do.
By the end of this program, you’ll be able to:
Lead with clarity
So you walk into sessions knowing exactly what to track.
Diagnose with precision
See what’s really driving the dysfunction.
Guide the process
Keep even volatile couples moving forward.
Stay grounded
So you leave sessions energized instead of depleted.
Work with reactivity
Address power, shame, and disconnection head-on.
Speak hard truths
Confront skillfully while staying connected.
RLT Level 1 is a five-module online training where you’ll learn the 8 diagnostic lenses that allow you to diagnose the repeating painful patterns in even the most complex couples with exquisite accuracy.
Your training includes recorded teaching, footage of real RLT couples therapy, and LIVE weekly deep dives to help you build fluency and apply the method confidently in practice.
Whether you’re looking to go deeper in your couples work, or want a diagnostic map you can rely on when sessions go off track, RLT Level 1 offers a clear, practical foundation to guide your approach.
And for this guided cohort starting January 22, you won’t go through it alone.
Each week, a new module unlocks – followed by a live Q&A session with RLT faculty member Bonny Slim, LMFT, where you can ask questions, unpack the material, and learn how to apply it in real time.
5,000+
40 Years
10
Featured in
Built on 40 years of clinical expertise, Relational Life Therapy draws from decades of real-world practice, research, and proven results.
What You’ll Learn
Module 1: The Three Phases of RLT and How They Work
This opening module reframes the entire approach to couples therapy by introducing the three foundational phases of RLT and how they work together to generate transformation.
You’ll learn:
- Why traditional neutrality often leads to therapeutic paralysis, and what to do instead.
- The 3 phases of RLT, and how they create a clear arc for relational repair.
- How to view the couple as a living system, rather than two parallel individuals.
Module 2: Building a Clearer Diagnostic Picture from the Start
Module 2 introduces the first three diagnostic lenses, helping you get beneath the presenting problem and help clients move beyond individual empowerment into relational empowerment.
You’ll learn:
- How to surface two distinct presenting problems and why this matters for every session that follows
- The 3 preconditions that must be ruled out before intimacy work can begin
Module 3: Spotting the Patterns That Keep Clients Stuck
Go deeper into the heart of the couple’s dysfunction by decoding their reactive strategies and early conditioning. Explore the Adaptive Child and Losing Strategies, giving you a structured way to name each partner’s reactivity without shame or blame.
You’ll learn:
- The 5 Losing Strategies that keep couples stuck in cycles of conflict and disconnection.
- How to identify and name Adaptive Child reactive behaviors.
- Why the goal isn’t neutrality, but compassionate confrontation that leads to movement.
Module 4: Uncovering the Deeper Structures Driving Disconnection
This module takes you deeper into the structural forces shaping clients’ behavior. You’ll learn how to use the Relationship Grid to assess self-esteem and boundaries, and how early family roles continue to shape how each partner shows up in their relationships.
You’ll learn:
- How to map your clients’ “relational stance” during conflict using the four quadrants of the Relational Grid
- How to shift your approach based on where your client sits in the grid – and how to make that call in real time
- How childhood roles like the “hero,” “lost child,” or “scapegoat” silently carry into adult relationships.
Module 5: Power, Culture, and the Leverage to Create Change
Explore the last two diagnostic lenses – Blatant/Latent Power and Social Context.
You’ll learn how to use this full map to gather leverage, confront destructive behaviors, and “wake up” even the most resistant clients.
You’ll learn:
- A structured way to work with power imbalances without collapsing into blame or rescue.
- How social identity shapes relational dynamics, and why it must be part of any accurate diagnosis.
- How to name what’s really at stake for clients in a way that motivates rather than shames.
Plus Instant Access to 5 Special Bonuses
75-Minute Live Couples Therapy Demonstration with Terry Real
The fastest way to internalize the eight diagnostic lenses is to see them in action.
Observe Terry conduct a real Phase 1 intervention with a couple, showing how he gathers data, reads the system, and begins to name the dynamic. This demonstration bridges the gap between theory and practice so you can better translate the model into your own sessions.
3 Video Demonstrations: RLT Role-Plays with Faculty
In these clip-length demonstrations, experienced RLT faculty role-play common couples dynamics and show how a practitioner can navigate them using Phase 1 data-gathering tools. You’ll see the subtle moves, from tracking interaction patterns to asking the right questions, that help reveal the deeper structure beneath the surface conflict.
Trauma, Truth and Healing: A Conversation with Gabor Maté
In this 60-minute interview, Terry sits down with Dr. Gabor Maté for an intimate dialogue on the relationship between trauma, emotional repression, and relational repair. Together they explore the physical and relational toll of unresolved trauma and how both therapists and clients can begin to heal.
On the Roots of RLT: A Conversation with Carol Gilligan
Go behind the scenes of RLT’s origin story in this rare discussion between Terry and world-renowned feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan.
From the influence of relational ethics to the evolving role of gender in therapy, this conversation offers deeper insight into the intellectual foundations that shaped RLT and why it remains a timely, radical approach to working with couples.
The RLT Q&A Vault: Real Questions. Clear Answers.
This curated video collection features some of the most insightful questions from past RLT Level 1 cohorts covering everything from what to do if a couple’s stories don’t match to working with resentful clients who don’t want to change.
What Practitioners Are Saying About RLT
"RLT pulled everything together into a clear, comprehensive framework that solidified my practice.
There are certain things that are right and wrong, and we’ve got to call them out… [RLT] It gave me permission to do therapy the way I always believed it should be done… If you want to work with couples with integrity, this is the modality you should learn.”
Dr. Gloria Lee, Psychologist, PsyD, RPsych
Burnaby, BC
“It’s a soft, simple methodology that gets to the root cause very quickly.
Even in difficult cases like infidelity, I was able to handle so much more effectively because of RLT… It’s a very effective way to be with a client.”
Nasim Mughal
Licensed Psychotherapist
Karachi, Pakistan
“Now I have a road map and I know how to begin to make sense of what's going on in a relationship.”
When I think about how I used to approach my work with couples and how I approach my work now… I didn’t know what I was doing, but I didn’t know I didn’t know. Now, I have this clarity and knowledge about what it is that I can deliver to them that’s going to be helpful.”
Brenda Forster
Clinical Counsellor, M.Ed., R.C.C.
Kelowna, BC
"I feel great about the work I'm doing with couples.
For most of my couples, their course of therapy is between six months to two years. Whereas before some couples I would be seeing for like up to five years and still not really feeling like the strong tangible results were there.”
Rachel Keller
Clinical Social Worker, LCSW-C, CST
Baltimore, MD
“I used to be worn out working with couples, but now I love it.
I’ve done all kinds of trainings over the years but never found a model that truly fit for me. I had become “eclectic” in my approach, never really mastering any one approach. I longed for a model that encouraged me to myself—open, authentic, and most importantly, effective. I found my home in RLT.”
Sig Taylor
MSW, RSW, RMFT
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Discover The 8 Diagnostic Lenses of Relational Life Therapy
At the heart of RLT Level 1 is a structured approach to what we call waking up the client – helping them recognize the real role they play in their relational dynamic. To do that effectively, you’ll learn to assess each couple through 8 specific diagnostic lenses that bring clarity to even the most complex relationships.
Presenting Problem(s)
When you have that clarity, you can confidently keep even the most volatile couples moving forward. Without it, you risk spending your time:
Preconditions
Screen for issues that must be addressed before relational work can begin. This includes factors like active addiction, psychiatric instability, or ongoing abuse.
Stance, Stance-Dance
Identify each partner’s relational stance and the repetitive loop they co-create. This lens reveals the dynamic that keeps them stuck.
Losing Strategies
Spot the five automatic behaviors that derail intimacy. These include being right, controlling, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, and withdrawal.
Relationship Grid
Map each partner’s relational posture by assessing their self-esteem and boundaries – particularly how grandiosity or shame shows up in the dynamic.
Family Role
Explore which childhood survival role each partner adopted, such as the hero, scapegoat, or lost child, and how that role influences their adult relationships.
Latent/Blatant Typology
Assess how power is expressed in the relationship. Latent partners tend to be indirect or passive, while blatant partners are more overt, dominant, or grandiose.
Social Context
Account for broader cultural factors like gender, race, class, and privilege. This lens helps you recognize how social identity shapes power, expectation, and behavior in the relationship.
Together, these lenses give you a clear, multidimensional understanding of each partner and the dynamic between them, so you can lead the work with structure and confidence.
Your Teachers
Terry Real
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist and bestselling author.
Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his remarkable ability to save couples on the brink of divorce. He has trained thousands of therapists in his RLT model to help them achieve similar results.
Bonny Slim
Based in West Hartford, Connecticut, Bonny has been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for over three decades and began training in Relational Life Therapy in 2012.
She is a senior member of the RLI faculty, training other therapists and coaches in the RLT model.
Try the first module, risk-free.
Your satisfaction guarantee for this January 22 cohort
When you join the January 2026 cohort, you’ll get full access to Module 1 and the live Q&A with Bonny Slim, LMFT – risk-free.
You’ll learn the foundational principles of RLT, explore the three-phase framework behind the method, and begin to see how relational dynamics can be mapped with greater clarity and direction.
If you don’t feel the first module delivers that clarity, just email us within 48 hours of its release and we’ll refund you in full. No questions asked.
Join RLT Level 1 and get:
- 5 weekly livestreams sessions (January 22 – February 19) featuring:
- Core training modules from Terry Real (pre-recorded, streamed with cohort)
- LIVE interactive Q&A and integration with faculty member Bonny Slim, LMFT
- Lifetime access to all training materials in your private student portal
- 10 NBCC-approved Continuing Education credits available upon completion
- Instant access to 5 powerful bonuses, including a full-length couples therapy session and role plays of challenging couples dynamics.
Considering RLT Certification?
RLT Level 1 is the first step of the full certification pathway. If you choose to continue later,
your full Level 1 tuition will be credited toward the certification.
Frequently Asked Questions
When do the live Q&A calls happen?
Each week, after the module is released, you’ll be invited to a live 60-minute Q&A call with RLT faculty member Bonny Slim, LMFT. These sessions are designed to help you unpack the material, ask questions, and explore how to apply the method in your practice. Each training session will be broadcast live at 12–2pm ET on the following dates:
- Module 1: Thursday, January 22
- Module 2: Thursday, January 29
- Module 3: Thursday, February 5
- Module 4: Thursday, February 12
- Module 5: Thursday, February 19
If you can’t attend live, full replays will be available inside your learning platform.
Will Terry Real be on the live calls?
No. Terry’s core training is pre-recorded but will broadcast live each week so you can experience his work together.
This will be immediately followed up with a live deep-dive session led by Bonny Slim, a senior RLT faculty member with more than 10 years of experience in the model.
These calls are designed to help you integrate the material and apply the 8 diagnostic lenses with more clarity and confidence.
Can I earn Continuing Education (CE) credits for this training?
Yes. This specific January 2026 cohort of RLT Level 1 offers 10 NBCC-approved Continuing Education (CE) credits upon completion of the training.
To be eligible, you must attend all five trainings sessions in full (2 hours each). CE credit cannot be awarded for watching recordings.
Registration will be confirmed via Zoom records so make sure you join the classes with the email address you used to enroll.
The Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495.
Please note: While NBCC CEs are widely accepted by many state licensing boards, it’s your responsibility to confirm eligibility with your specific board or credentialing body.
What if I miss one of the live sessions?
You receive lifetime access to all livestream lectures from Terry Real and Q&As with Bonny Slim. These will be added to your learning platform within 48 hours of each class, so you can catch up anytime.
However, if you’re hoping to earn Continuing Education (CE) credits, live attendance at all five sessions is required.
Each session is two hours long, and CE eligibility depends on full attendance.
That said, we strongly encourage everyone to attend live – whether you’re earning credits or not. It’s a rare chance to get direct support from a senior RLT faculty member, and deepen your learning in real time.
I’m not a therapist. Can I still apply this as a coach?
Yes. RLT Level 1 is designed for both therapists and coaches. In fact, many coaches already use RLT’s principles to deepen their client work. If you support people in relational growth, then this training will serve you well.
I only do individual therapy. Will this still help me?
Absolutely. While RLT is rooted in couples work, the diagnostic tools and confrontational techniques are just as powerful in individual therapy, especially with clients working through relational trauma, boundary issues, or recurring patterns in relationships. You’ll walk away with new language, sharper insights, and strategies you can use immediately – even one-on-one.
Will this really work with my most stuck or high-conflict couples?
Yes. Terry built RLT as a direct response to the limitations of traditional couples therapy. He’s often known as the “last resort” therapist, called in when nothing else has worked. This method was designed for the toughest cases: high-conflict couples, chronic resentment, emotional shutdown, infidelity, even situations on the brink of divorce.
What if I don’t get the results I hoped for?
We offer a risk-free window so you can experience the first module and decide if the training is right for you.
If after completing Module 1, including the live Q&A with Bonny Slim, you don’t feel the program delivers the clarity or value you expected, simply email us within 48 hours of the module’s release and we’ll refund you in full, no questions asked.
Will I need to practice this right away in sessions to benefit?
You don’t have to, but we recommend it. The best way to build fluency with the RLT model is to start experimenting with the tools in session. Even applying one lens at a time can create powerful shifts. You’ll be surprised how quickly it clicks.
Can I really ‘diagnose’ couples this fast?
Not at first, and that’s okay. Terry may be able to identify root issues in a single session, but he invented the method and has 40+ years of experience.
As a new practitioner, you’re encouraged to take your time. RLT teaches you how to layer 8 diagnostic lenses over time, building a rich, nuanced picture of what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Is this enough to start using RLT with clients, or do I need to complete the full certification?
Level 1 is a complete and self-contained training. Many graduates have made immediate improvements in their client outcomes after completing just this course.
That said, RLT is a deep and evolving model, and if you choose to go further, Level 2 and full certification are always available to you.
Join RLT Level 1 and get:
- 5 weekly livestreams sessions (January 22 – February 19) featuring:
- Core training modules from Terry Real (pre-recorded, streamed with cohort)
- LIVE interactive Q&A and integration with faculty member Bonny Slim, LMFT
- Lifetime access to all training materials in your private student portal
- 10 NBCC-approved Continuing Education credits available upon completion
- Instant access to 5 powerful bonuses, including a full-length couples therapy session and role plays of challenging couples dynamics.
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