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To learn more about how to help people come down from the one-up of grandiosity and into connection with their partner, register for the free training on The 7 Diagnostic Lenses of Relational Life Therapy (Tuesday, January 9, 2–3:30 pm ET), where you’ll learn the effective tools to rectify power imbalances in relationships. 

Register For Free
Join Terry Real and senior RLT therapist Anna Sterk LIVE for a free 90-minute training

How To Identify the Vicious Cycle Your Clients Are Caught in and Motivate Them To Change It

Discover the 7 diagnostic lenses we use in Relational Life Therapy to get to the heart of the presenting problem, build trust, and redress power imbalances in couples therapy.

LIVE with Terry Real and Anna Sterk on Tuesday, January 9, 2–3:30 pm ET

Free Online Training

Submit your details to secure your spot in the free training: Getting to the Heart of It: 7 RLT Lenses That Get You to the Truth

LIVE on Tuesday, January 9, 2–3:30 pm ET

Getting to the Heart of It: 7 RLT Lenses That Get You to the Truth

Terry and Anna will spend the first 10 minutes introducing you to the 7 diagnostic lenses we use in RLT to precisely and effectively identify the vicious cycle clients are caught in. 

Then Terry will take you through a deeper exploration of one lens:

Working with Blatant/Latents (including clips from his real therapy sessions).

You will discover:

  • How and when to start taking sides: Identifying blatant/latent dynamics and the key features to look for.
  • The critical differences between grandiosity and shame and why each requires a different therapeutic approach.
  • The 3 parts of the psyche: Which part of the client are you talking to? Empowering the latent: Gathering data from the disempowered partner to confront the blatant.
  • Reconnecting the blatant: Providing positive & negative leverage to spark change.

PLUS we’re dedicating plenty of time to Q&A at the end where you can ask Terry and Anna your questions directly.

Register For Free
  • (Don’t worry if you can’t attend live, please still register as we’ll send out a replay.)

“Don’t get out ahead of your client. They’re the ones to assert the leverage, not you. You go too far when you act as if you have more leverage than you have. You go too far if you take on the offender of the blatant, rather than have the latent take on the blatant, generally.”

Who Is Terry Real?

Terry Real, creator of Relational Life Therapy

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker.

A former senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry is renowned for his ability to save couples on the brink of divorce using the progressive approach he created, Relational Life Therapy. RLT equips people with the powerful relational skills they need to cultivate meaningful connections—to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole.

His original insights on couples therapy, relationships, and men’s issues have been featured in outlets from Oprah and Vogue to The Today Show and CNN. His latest book is the New York Times bestseller, US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

Anna Sterk

Anna Sterk is an LMFT in private practice in Minnesota. A senior RLT therapist and esteemed member of the RLT Faculty, Anna teaches practitioners from all over the world to expertly use RLT to spark deep and enduring transformations in their clients.

Learning how to build and sustain healthy relationships has been the journey of Anna’s life, and not always an easy or straightforward path. It was life changing for her to build on the personal work she was doing when she started studying with Terry Real in 2012, and she feels honored to pass along what she has learned to clients and through teaching the relational skills in bootcamps, practicums, and mentoring.

Register for Free
  • (Don’t worry if you can’t attend live, please still register as we’ll send out a replay.)

“Terry’s work provided foundations of “telling the truth” to clients. I did it easily with individuals but stumbled with couples. Now I LOVE working with couples. It is now always profoundly moving & instructive.”

— Jeanne O.

“Some of the things I love about Terry Real and his work are the practical steps, down-to-earth guidance and his model of having the courage and respect to be honest with couples when one partner is behaving in a way that needs to be addressed first.”

— Rachel M.
Join the FREE live training on Tuesday, January 9, 2–3:30 pm ET and discover the powerful data-gathering tools to effectively get to the heart of the problem and motivate your clients to change.
Register for Free
  • (Don’t worry if you can’t attend live, please still register as we’ll send out a replay.)
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CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

Working With Men

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

ACEP No. 7495

FORMAT: A LIVE Online Course facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW; and Julie Rudiger, LCSW

Continuing Education credits offered: 12  credit hours

Course Description:

Over eight live online classes, learn the skills to engage, motivate, and create breakthrough change with resistant male clients in this live, practice-focused training led by renowned couples therapist and male-psychology expert Terry Real, alongside RLT Faculty Member Julie Rudiger, LCSW. Grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the course unpacks how patriarchal conditioning and performance-based self-worth fuel disconnection, defensiveness, and shutdown, then shows you how to build trust with even the most challenging men through clear, compassionate confrontation that preserves the therapeutic alliance. You’ll learn to create effective leverage for transformation without triggering collapse, withdrawal, or escalated resistance; tailor interventions for the three common presentations—“boys, bullies, and avoiders”; and reframe masculinity so emotional expression is aligned with strength, honor, and integrity rather than weakness. Through demonstrations and actionable tools from both instructors, you’ll guide men in trauma healing and relational skill development that supports healthier partnerships and parenting. Leave with a concrete RLT roadmap you can use immediately to help clients move from resistance to responsibility and from disconnection to genuine intimacy.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to be able to:

  • Summarize the cultural shaping of masculinity and its consequences.
  • Recognize shame and grandiosity as dual defenses tied to male self-worth.
  • Develop skills to help men shift from defensiveness to compassion.
  • Identify how shame and performance-based esteem show up in male clients.
  • Discuss culturally sensitive ways to challenge entitlement and grandiosity.
  • Identify and work with three major types of difficult men: boys, bullies, and avoiders.
  • Describe how to use leverage as a tool to create change.
  • Identify patterns of resistance in men and learn how to engage them effectively.
  • Utilize leverage to create internal or external motivation for change.
  • Illustrate empowerment to the partner or family system to create pressure that opens the door to transformation.
  • Compare and differentiate between their wounded child, adaptive child, and functional adult selves.
  • Develop an internal caregiving relationship with their inner children rather than expecting partners to repair old wounds.
  • Demonstrate full relational responsibility as an adult, especially in high-conflict, high-defensiveness relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost:   $497 or three payments of $197 each.

Course Date & Hours:   

1pm-2:30pm Eastern Time on:

September 10, 17, 24; October 1, 8, 2025 

TO REGISTER: https://relationallife.com/working-with-men

Cancellation Policy: You may cancel your registration up until September 16, 2025

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com 

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com 

Instructor’s Bio:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Julie Rudiger, LCSW has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for the last 30 years. In 2002, Julie opened her private practice, where she has helped hundreds of individuals and couples over the last two decades. Her professional journey took a transformative turn in 2008 when she began training with Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Julie has since used RLT to guide clients in discovering self-esteem, healing early wounds, and fostering deeper, more authentic relationships. A faculty member at the Relational Life Institute since 2022, Julie now trains other therapists and leads community workshops, including Men’s Groups and Relationship Skills Bootcamps. Additionally, she is trained in EMDR, ACT, DBT, Gestalt, and the Enneagram.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files.

A copy of this Grievance Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com