New Online Training:
Trauma and Opportunity: The RLT Approach to Working With Infidelity

Working With Infidelity as a Catalyst for Deep Transformation — In Your Clients and Their Relationships

Join now and receive instant access to the recordings of all the sessions. 

5 90-minute classes with master couples therapist, Terry Real.

What you get:


Each class begins with a lecture from Terry on a particular aspect of working with infidelity, before opening up for your questions. 


Class 1: An Overview of the RLT Approach to Infidelity

  • The RLT perspective on infidelity and how it differs from other models
  • The goals of treatment: using the crisis as a springboard for transformational change in the character of each partner and the essential character of the union itself
  • The 2 phases of treatment: containment and transformation
  • How to be the Wise Adult in the room: approaching infidelity issues from the center of health
  • How to deal with countertransference: managing your own feelings around infidelity
  • The importance of not imposing a model of fidelity on your clients
  • Identifying and disentangling from your own biases and assumptions about fidelity

Class 2: The Hurt Partner: Infidelity as a Trauma

    • Understanding infidelity as a trauma for the hurt partner: their basic assumptions about their partner and relationship have been shattered
    • Creating a platform for the hurt partner to deal with the trauma of betrayal and deceit
  • Exploring the 2 questions of hurt partners:
    • How could you do that?
    • How do I know you won’t do it again?
  • The question of disclosure: should everything be disclosed? How and when should it happen?
  • Reassuring behaviors: how to be the voice of what’s appropriate, moderate, and respectful
  • What ultimately helps hurt partners regain trust

Class 3: The Involved Partner: Understanding the Lack of “No”

  • Shifting the question from “why do people cheat?” to “why don’t they cheat?” - identifying what force has overridden the power of “no”
  • The 3 reasons behind the lack of ability to say “no” to infidelity:
    • Normal human weakness
    • The character of the unfaithful partner
    • The character of the long-term relationship
  • Realistic remorse: the involved partner doesn’t need to regret the infidelity, but they must regret the consequences of their actions
  • The involved partner must begin with accountability, but not shame or self-attack

Class 4: Infidelity as an Opportunity for Transformation

  • The old relationship is over. The question now is: can we help our clients forge a new one?
  • Understanding how to use the crisis of infidelity as an opportunity for deeper transformation in the relationship
  • Moving beyond the victim/perpetrator framework into one that builds hope
  • Identifying the dysfunctional relational stances that contributed to the infidelity and how to address them
  • Shifting from what happened to understanding why it happened
  • Teaching each partner the relational skills for a stronger and healthier relationship:
    • Restoring relational joy
    • Transmission/reception work
  •     How to amplify each partner’s progress as they move towards true intimacy

Class 5: The Crisis is Over: Now What?

    • Teaching each partner the relational skills for a stronger and healthier relationship:
      • Restoring relational joy
      • Transmission/reception work
    • How to amplify each partner’s progress as they move towards true intimacy
    • Demarcating the crisis as having passed
    Celebrating the new transformed relationship—perhaps it’s time to renew wedding vows


You’ll receive access to our private membership site, the RLT Community Hub, where you’ll find access to all call recordings to watch back anytime. This is also a place to get to know your colleagues on the course, share ideas, ask questions, and make connections.

Plus These Exciting Bonuses:


In this 5-part video series, Terry Real takes you deep into the RLT approach to healing trauma, from why we conduct inner child work in the couples context to how trauma operates in couples.


A 60-minute talk from psychotherapist and NYT bestselling author, Esther Perel, who doesn’t shy away from the opportunities infidelity can open up for a new relationship within an old one.

Learn a New Framework For Infidelity

50% of people come to couples therapy due to some form of infidelity.

We see it in our offices frequently, yet it’s still an area that holds great doubt, uncertainty, and even fear for many therapists…

Facing the devastating trauma, deep betrayal, and shattered trust in the aftermath of an affair is a particularly stirring issue for us. Many of us have been touched by infidelity personally—in our own relationships or as children. 

Managing our own feelings and acting as a container for our clients’ emotions, while trying to constructively move them forward can be a steep challenge. 

But helping couples come back from an affair is also one of the most rewarding parts of couples therapy. 

It presents you with one of the biggest opportunities to bring about transformation—in each partner and the relationship as a whole. 

Too often, the focus is on restoring the old—often problematic—equilibrium. But the truth is, many couples manage to return to the old status quo on their own: two-thirds of couples survive infidelity… 

But in RLT, we strive for more.

We use the crisis of infidelity to make way for something completely new—a robust and healthy relationship where partners experience true intimacy like never before!

Join Terry Real, the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), to discover a fresh approach to working with infidelity that moves beyond the traditional victim/perpetrator framework into one that builds hope and opportunity for real repair. 

Throughout five 90-minute classes, Terry will teach you the exact RLT framework he has used to help thousands of couples come back from infidelity with a stronger, healthier relationship than before. 

Our job as therapists is to do our best to ensure couples move beyond just weathering the storm of infidelity. We need to see if we can use the crisis to take their relationship to a new level of maturity and development.

- Terry Real

How the RLT Approach Will Elevate Your Work With Infidelity

 After this course, you will have the knowledge and tools you need to elegantly and effectively navigate the complexities of infidelity. You will…

Build Confidence

You’ll feel certain in your ability to offer your clients more than a return to their old reality. You’ll feel assured that you can offer them something more: hope and optimism for a stronger, healthier relationship.

Gain Clarity

Equipped with the powerful RLT tools that Terry has used for 30 years to guide couples through the crisis, you’ll know exactly how to work with infidelity, harnessing it as a mechanism for dramatic and permanent transformation.

Feel Energised

It’s exhausting when you can’t help your clients the way you want to. But with the skills you’ll learn inside this course, you’ll feel reinvested in your work as you see the transformations unfold before you.

Who Should Take This Course?

This course is for you if you’re a therapist, coach, or mental health practitioner who wants to…

The deepest training in the RLT model.

Did you know...

This course is part of the RLT Certification program
To learn more, get the free guide

About Terry Real, the Creator of RLT

Terry Real, LICSW,  is an internationally recognized couples and family therapist, speaker, and New York Times bestselling author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI) to provide workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) methodology.

Terry is the author of four books, including the recent New York Times bestseller, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. His ideas on men’s issues and couple’s therapy have been celebrated in venues such as Psychology Networker, Psychology Today, Good Morning America, The Today Show, Vogue, Forbes, Oprah, and The New York Times.

A senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. With 30+ years of clinical experience, Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and personal fulfillment. Known as “the turnaround guy,” he has a history of transforming relationships that are “on the brink.”

The Relational Life Institute grew out of Terry’s extensive experience and research. He has trained thousands of therapists who have benefited from a whole new perspective on working with couples and individuals. RLT teaches people how to make their relationships work by providing services designed to teach the principles of Relational Life so that everyone can enjoy full respect living and craft a healthy life legacy.

What Others Say About Terry and RLT

“The practical and positive approach of RLT has helped my clients see change almost immediately. By weaving past trauma and its impact on relationships and by building new skills together, my clients have expressed new deep and meaningful connections. RLT is not just a training program, it is a community that works in unity to offer ongoing support to therapists as well as clients.”

—  Clare Mézes, MSc, RP, Toronto, Canada

“After 25 years of working as a Psychotherapist and Marriage Counselor I was ready to “hang it all up.” I was more than burnt out. Now, 6 months later, I am reinvested in my work and enjoying it in a brand new way. Renewed energy and enthusiasm for my work has replaced the negativity I was experiencing. Thanks so much RLT!”

— Roseanna Zoubek, LCSW, West Orange, NJ

“Some of the things I love about Terry Real and his work are the practical steps, down-to-earth guidance and his model of having the courage and respect to be honest with couples when one partner is behaving in a way that needs to be addressed first.” 

— Rachel M.

Enroll Today

The deepest training in the RLT model.

Did you know...

This course is part of the RLT Certification program To learn more, request information here.
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Frequently Asked Questions

Is this course eligible for CE credits?

CE credits are NOT available at this time for this course. 

How long will I have access to the course?

Forever! As soon as you enroll, we give you logins to our learning platform, the RLT Community Hub, where you have lifetime access to all course materials. 

Is everything online?

Yes—all of the calls are online via Zoom and recordings are stored in the RLT Community Hub (our exclusive online learning platform) to watch at your convenience. 

Is this part of the RLT Certification?

Yes, Trauma and Opportunity: The RLT Approach to Working With Infidelity is included in the RLT Certification program—the deepest training in the RLT model. Once you enroll in the certification, the fee for this course is covered. Additionally, if you wish to enroll at a later date, the price you pay for this course (and any other professional RLI training) will be deducted from the Certification fee (the maximum discount available is $4,000). For more information on the RLT Certification, including the full curriculum, pricing, and payment plans, download the free guide.

What if I don’t work with couples? Can I still join?

While the course material is predominantly framed within the context of couples therapy, the theory and techniques may be useful for therapists working with individuals looking to heal from the hurt of past affairs or to break their patterns of infidelity.  

Is this course for couples looking to heal from infidelity?

This course is designed for clinicians (therapists, coaches, and mental health practitioners) to provide them with the tools they need to get people through the crisis in a way that promotes growth. This course does not contain advice for couples on how to come back from infidelity. For specific help on how to build true intimacy in your personal relationships, we recommend Terry’s NYT bestselling book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship or his online course Staying in Love: The Art of Fierce Intimacy

What is Relational Life Therapy?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is the radical approach to couples therapy created by Terry Real. It combines the most effective techniques from multiple therapies to create a state-of-the-art, integrated method to powerfully heal relationships. RLT breaks many of the rules of traditional therapy to go deep quickly and help clients make rapid and significant changes. 

Using a range of powerful diagnostic and transformative tools, RLT helps people to first reconnect to themselves—their feelings, needs, and desires—to build a stronger, more intimate connection with their partner. 

Do you have a refund policy?

We’re confident you’ll get so much out of your course. However, if you’re not 100 percent satisfied with your purchase, simply contact us at within 14 days from purchase and we’ll give you a full refund, no questions asked.

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