From Expert in Male Psychology, Terry Real
How to Reach the Men Who Don’t Want to Be There
Join Working With Men to learn the precise therapeutic tools and interventions to engage and transform even the most resistant male clients.
How to Reach the Men Who
Don’t Want to Be There
The ones who:
- Intellectualize instead of feel.
- Minimize and deflect to avoid discomfort.
- Remain hellbent on being right, whatever the cost.
- Dominate and dictate to get their way.
- Think everyone else is the problem.
“Why should I listen to you?”
And when faced with men like this, you know you need to get their buy-in fast, or this couple probably isn’t coming back.
Which is easier said than done, because…
We simply were not taught to work with difficult men in therapy school.
How many times have you tried to engage a man like that through nurture? By being nice?
Over 40 years of working with challenging men, Terry Real is clear on one thing:
Clients like this do not need you to be nice to them.
They need you to wake them up to the impact of their behavior, to understand the consequences of not doing the work…
And that requires a very different set of skills – both for them and you.
Introducing Working With Men
Learn to confidently confront, engage, and transform even the most resistant, grandiose men.
In this LIVE online course, expert in male psychology, Terry Real, will give you the precise tools to:
- Get buy-in from men who would rather be anywhere else.
- Cut through defensiveness without shaming or alienating.
- Confront grandiosity and avoidance while keeping the client engaged.
- Skills you can teach your male clients to help them show up better in their relationships.
🌟 Plus, you’ll access 3 Q&A calls with senior RLT Faculty member, Julie Rudiger, LCSW, that will give you further practical guidance on the course material and share how to effectively run men’s groups as part of your practice.
“ In the world of boys and men, you are either a winner or a loser, one up or one down, in control or controlled, man enough or a girl. Where in this setup is the capacity to love? ”
Here’s an Overview of Everything You Get In Working With Men
5 recorded 90-minute Classes with Terry Real
Join Terry Real for an in-depth exploration of how to effectively work with men, exploring the unique challenges it can present. You’ll learn to break through resistance and guide men into emotional responsibility, connection, and lasting relational change.
3 recorded 90-minute Q&A Classes with Julie Rudiger
Three bonus classes with Q&A to gain deeper, practical guidance on how to effectively run your own men’s coaching groups.
Lifetime Access to the Class Recordings and Course Material
Refer back to the material as many times as you need to support your work.
- Modern Masculinity with Terry Real
In this 1-hour class and live-recorded Q&A, Terry discusses the roots of male depression, performance-based self-esteem, and the cost of disconnection for their relationships, health, and families.
- From Boys to Men: Trauma and the Crisis of Masculinity with Carol Gilligan
A 1.5 hour conversation with Terry and feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan, exploring the influence of “traditional masculinity,” including how men learn to disconnect from their childhood wounds, emotions, or behaviors that are deemed “weak” or “vulnerable.”
- Working with the Many Parts of Men with Richard Schwartz
In this 1-hour interview, Terry and Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), discuss working with men and concepts of masculinity through both the RLT and IFS lenses.
- Male Aggression with Dr. James Gilligan
- In this 1-hour interview, Terry is joined by Dr. James Gilligan, a legendary psychiatrist specialized in the causes and prevention of violent behavior, to discuss male aggression toward themselves, other men, and women.
12 CEs are available if you attend all 8 classes LIVE and in full.
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
What You’ll Learn
Explore the Working With Men curriculum.
Class 1
Masculinity Now:
Understanding the Current Crisis and How We Got Here
You’ll explore:
- The cultural “male code” and psychological patriarchy, and how these create disconnection and dysfunction.
- Why grandiosity and shame are not opposites, but two sides of the same coin.
- How traditional masculinity operates as a form of trauma: both disempowering abuse (shame) and false empowerment (grandiosity).
- How invulnerability and emotional unavailability have left men relationally impoverished and are now driving their partnerships apart.
- Key RLT techniques like “Joining Through The Truth” and finding leverage to motivate change in men.
Class 2
Men in Relationships:
Disconnection, Conflict, and the Longing to Be Seen
You’ll explore:
- The Three Rings of Patriarchy – and how this framework perpetuates rigid gender roles and blocks intimacy.
- How to reframe masculine identity and promote relational strength through concepts like the “Generous Gentleman.”
- How male shame is rooted in impossible standards – and how to differentiate shame from guilt.
- The 3 types of unhealthy self-esteem and how to reconnect men into their inherent sense of worth.
- The Relationship Grid – a tool to identify your clients’ self-esteem and boundaries, and guide them back into the center of relational health.
Class 3
How to Engage Men:
Resistance and Relational Leverage
You’ll explore:
- Why traditional therapy approaches often don’t work for men – and how most men enter therapy due to their partner’s dissatisfaction rather than personal unhappiness.
- Why men can be difficult to engage – and a fresh approach to reach them with accountability and compassion.
- How to identify the 3 types of difficult men: boys, bullies, and avoiders – and the tools to effectively work with each.
- How to find leverage and motivate men to create profound relational change without triggering collapse or resistance.
Class 4
Transforming Men by Reconstructing Masculinity
You’ll explore:
- Understanding and working with resistant, grandiose men who are walled off and disconnected from empathy, consequence, or emotional feedback.
- Critical use of positive and negative leverage to motivate change.
- How to engage the wider family system to create the necessary conditions for growth and deepen emotional impact.
Class 5
Bringing It Home:
Healing the Intergenerational Legacy and Creating Lasting Change
You’ll explore:
- The three core parts of the self: the Wounded Child, Adaptive Child, and Wise Adult.
- Principles of RLT inner child work, and how to work with the client’s own Wise Adult self to facilitate healing.
- How the Adaptive Child and trauma form simultaneously via reaction (disempowerment) and modelling (empowerment).
- Clinical examples of inner child work and how it can translate directly into relational repair.
- How to support men in making sustained behavioral changes and integrating new relational habits through the lens of healthy masculinity.
Plus
Expand Your Practice With Men’s Coaching Groups
3 Q&A Calls Julie Rudiger
Through your 3 included Q&A calls, Julie will provide deeper insights into how you can run men’s coaching groups as part of your practice. Having facilitated numerous men’s coaching groups herself, Julie brings a wealth of experience to the table.
You’ll explore:
- How to model vulnerability, openness, and emotional honesty with male clients.
- Create group dynamics that foster trust and, and honest dialogue between men.
- Anticipate and navigate common challenges when working with men’s groups.
- Apply RLT techniques from Terry’s classes specifically for group contexts.
- Use examples and scenarios to adapt your approach for different types of men.
By the end, you’ll have a clear understanding of how to facilitate impactful men’s groups that promote lasting growth and connection.
Who Is Working With Men For?
Much of this course will focus on how to work with men in the couples – or family – context. This is the setting you are most likely to encounter resistant, grandiose, anti-relational men.
While it is invaluable for therapists and coaches working with couples, it’s also useful for those who work with men 1:1, or run men’s circles. You will gain a deeper understanding of the broader patriarchal conditioning that affects all men and the roadmap to help them reconnect – to themselves and those who love them.
What Your Colleagues Say About The RLT Approach to Working With Men
Enroll in Working With Men Today
Choose the payment option that best suits you.
3 x Monthly Payments
$179
Single Payment
$497
Our Promise and Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll love Working With Men, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
Terry Real, the creator of Relational Life Therapy
Terry Real, the creator of Relational Life Therapy
Terry Real, LICSW, has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
A family therapist and expert in men’s issues, Terry Real is the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a groundbreaking therapeutic approach that equips people with the essential relational skills to build and sustain authentic connections – to themselves, each other, and the planet.
The bestselling author of four books, Terry wrote the first ever book on male depression – I Don’t Want To Talk About It – in the 1990s. Terry’s most recent book is the New York Times bestseller, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which guides readers toward deeper intimacy and fulfillment.
Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce – and reach even the most resistant, anti-relational men. Through his esteemed training school, the Relational Life Institute, he has trained thousands of mental health practitioners in his RLT method to date.
Terry is committed to relational empowerment, helping everyone develop the skills needed for meaningful, lasting relationships.
Julie Rudiger, LCSW, Senior RLT Faculty Member
Julie Rudiger, LCSW, Private Practice, Denver, Co area
Julie Rudiger has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for the last 30 years. In 2002, Julie opened her private practice, where she has helped hundreds of individuals and couples over the last three decades. Her professional journey took a transformative turn in 2008 when she began training with Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Julie has since used RLT to guide clients in discovering self-esteem, healing early wounds, and fostering deeper, more authentic relationships.
A faculty member at the Relational Life Institute since 2022, Julie now trains other therapists and leads community workshops, including Men’s Groups and Relationship Skills Bootcamps. Additionally, she is trained in EMDR, ACT, DBT, Gestalt, and the Enneagram.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this course live?
Yes—this course consists of 5 LIVE 90-minute classes with Terry Real and 3 bonus 90-minute classes with Julie Rudiger from the RLI Faculty.
When are the classes?
The classes take place on the following dates and times:
90-minute LIVE classes with Terry Real:
- Class 1: Wednesday, September 10, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 2: Wednesday, September 17, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 3: Wednesday, September 24, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 4: Wednesday, October 1, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 5: Tuesday, October 7, 1–2:30pm ET
90-minute LIVE Q&A classes with Julie Rudiger:
- Class 1: Thursday, October 9, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 2: Tuesday, October 14, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 3: Tuesday, October 21, 10–11:30 am ET
90-minute LIVE classes with Terry Real:
- Class 1: Wednesday, September 10, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 2: Wednesday, September 17, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 3: Wednesday, September 24, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 4: Wednesday, October 1, 1–2:30 pm ET
- Class 5: Wednesday, October 8, 1–2:30 pm ET
90-minute LIVE bonus classes with Julie Rudiger:
- Class 1: Thursday, October 9, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 2: Tuesday, October 14, 10–11:30 am ET
- Class 3: Tuesday, October 21, 10–11:30 am ET
What if I can’t make all of the live classes?
Don’t worry—all classes will be recorded and stored in your private learning platform, the RLT Hub, for you to watch at your convenience. You’ll receive log in and access details as soon as you enroll.
I’m a woman – can I really get away with using the same techniques as Terry?
This is a common and very important question we get asked. As a cisgender white male can Terry get away with saying certain things to men that the rest of us can’t? The answer is nuanced and it will be addressed throughout the course.
While your interventions may not look exactly the same as Terry’s, you absolutely can use these techniques to confront difficult male clients. We encourage you to join the Q&A calls with Julie Rudiger to understand how she uses RLT techniques to great effect in her couples sessions and men’s groups.
How long will I have access to the course material?
Forever! You’ll have lifetime access to the class recordings inside the private learning platform, to watch back as many times as you like.
Are CEs available?
Yes – 12 CEs are available for professionals who attend all 8 live calls (this includes the Q&A calls with Julie Rudiger) for an additional $40 fee. Find more information on CEs above.
What is your money-back guarantee?
We’re confident you’ll love Working With Men, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
Is this course part of the RLT Certification?
If you haven’t yet taken your special topic course of choice, you can select Working With Men. Otherwise, you’re entitled to 50% off this course. Please check your inbox for an email with details, and if you have any questions, contact support@terryreal.com.
Is there a discount for Alumni members?
Yes, if you are an official RLI Alumni member, you receive 30% off this course. Please check your inbox from an email from us with the details. If you aren’t yet a member, you can join here. If you haven’t received your email, please email support@terryreal.com.
