The Goal of a First Session Is a Second Session
Get the 3-Hour Clinical Training for Therapists & Coaches
Learn how to identify a couple’s core pattern in session one – and give them a reason to come back
Real Couples Session Footage | CE Credit Hours Available
Includes 2 Continuing Ed Credits
“When I need advice, I call Terry Real. His decades of clinical experience, research, and wisdom are invaluable to my patients, colleagues, and friends.”
– Esther Perel
Psychotherapist and bestselling author
With leading couples therapist & NY Times bestselling author, Terry Real
2 Continuing Ed credit hours included upon successful completion of a short online assessment. Learn more →
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
When Session One Seems To Go Everywhere – And Nowhere
You sit down with a couple for the first time, and within minutes you can feel the pull in different directions.
One partner is talking quickly, determined to finally be heard. The other is guarded, already withdrawing, or just watching – sizing up whether this is going to be worth it. You’re trying to hold space for both of them. You’re listening for attachment patterns, family histories, the resentments that have been building up over years – decades even.
You’re doing everything you were trained to do.
But somewhere along the way, you realize you’re covering a lot of ground but there’s no clear thread to follow.
The conversation moves from last week’s argument to childhood wounds to stress at work, and with every follow-up question you quietly ask yourself:
Am I following the right line here?
Meanwhile, your clients are carrying their own question into the session, whether they say it out loud or not:
Is this person actually going to get it enough to really help us?
Most couples don’t arrive at therapy in good shape. By the time they’re sitting across from you, they’re often exhausted, they’ve probably already tried a few things that haven’t worked, and more than a few of them are quietly wondering if the relationship can survive at all.
They’re not just looking for a good listener. They need to leave that first session with something they didn’t walk in with.
What couples need in that first session is hope.
Compassion, empathy, reassurance all help but it’s hope that helps them feel seen and like something can really change this time.
And the fastest way to give a couple that?
Diagnose the painful pattern they’re caught in.
Not the content of their fights – who said what, who forgot what, who did what again. The pattern underneath all of it.
In Relational Life Therapy (RLT), we call this pattern The More, The More
The more one partner withdraws, the more the other pursues
And the more they pursue, the more the other withdraws
There are millions of combinations!
In over 40 years of working with couples on the brink, Terry Real has discovered that if by the end of the first session, a couple can see their pattern – clearly and without blame – and believe you can help them out of it… they come back.
In this 3-hour workshop, Terry will teach you how to identify and articulate that pattern – The More, The More – quickly, so your first sessions give your clients the hope they desperately need.
The Steps For a Precise Diagnosis
In this 3-hour workshop, leading couples therapist and New York Times bestselling author Terry Real will teach you the powerful diagnostic tool he – and the thousands of therapists he has trained – use to cut to the heart of the issue in couples therapy, often within the very first session.
01
Identify Each Partner’s Reaction Under Stress
In the heat of conflict, we all default to our automatic reactions – withdrawal or escalation, blame or shame.
Quickly recognize each partner’s stance – and how it fuels the dynamic between them.
02
Diagnose the Painful Pattern They’re Stuck In
See how their stress responses combine to form a repeating cycle:
The more one partner pursues, the more the other distances.
The more they distance,
the more the other pursues.
03
Build Hope & Motivation for Real Change
The pattern becomes the patient. When you present it back to your clients clearly, without blame, they can begin to imagine changing it.
And when they believe change is possible, they come back.
By the end of your first session, you’ll be able to look at your couple and say:
“This is where you’re stuck.
Will you let me help you get out of it?”
Very few people say no to that.
“Name the pattern they're stuck in. Give it to them. Let them know you can help them out of it. And they're yours.”
The pattern isn't just your diagnosis. It becomes your report card for the entire treatment – but we'll get into that in the 3-hour workshop.
“Now I have a road map and I know how to begin to make sense of what's going on in a relationship.”
When I think about how I used to approach my work with couples and how I approach my work now… I didn’t know what I was doing, but I didn’t know I didn’t know. Now, I have this clarity and knowledge about what it is that I can deliver to them that’s going to be helpful.”
Kelowna, BC
What You’ll Learn in This 3-hour Workshop
In this 3-hour training, you’ll learn how to:
1
Walk into session one with a clear goal instead of hoping clarity emerges organically
2
Interrupt unproductive tangents without shutting either partner down
3
Shift couples from blaming each other to shared responsibility & accountability
4
Increase buy-in by naming patterns in language clients can understand and receive
5
Track whether your work is creating behavioral change – not just increased insight
6
Build momentum in early sessions so treatment feels purposeful from the start
For over 40 years, Terry Real, LICSW, has worked with couples on the brink of divorce – including those who had previously “failed” therapy – and trained thousands of clinicians worldwide in his transformative approach.
He is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a radical, action-oriented model of couples therapy known for its clarity, compassionate directness, and lasting results.
RLT teaches therapists and coaches how to intervene decisively, remain in control of their sessions, and track progress effectively to pivot where needed.
This workshop introduces one of the eight RLT diagnostic lenses – the one that allows you to walk into session one with clarity and leave with momentum.
Testimonials
“Some of the things I love about Terry Real and his work are the practical steps, down-to-earth guidance and his model of having the courage and respect to be honest with couples when one partner is behaving in a way that needs to be addressed first.”
“I’ve mostly worked with individuals because I find Couple’s work so murky and hard to navigate. I love how RLT lines out very clear steps to go really deep and really make a difference for couples. I find it to be brave, vulnerable and smart. And those are 3 of my favorite things.”
“Terry’s work provided foundations of “telling the truth” to clients. I did it easily with individuals but stumbled with couples. Now I LOVE working with couples. It is now always profoundly moving & instructive.”
Here’s Everything You’ll Receive
Instant access to 3-hour workshop with Terry Real with Q&A
- Discover the powerful data-gathering tool to help you clearly and precisely diagnose what’s really going on with a couple – quickly.
- Learn how to confidently present your diagnosis back to clients in a way that builds their trust and hope in the work.
- Explore how to use that diagnosis to track the effectiveness of the treatment, so you keep sessions focused and moving toward real, lasting change.
⭐Includes demos from Terry so you can see the tool in action before you apply it yourself.
Lifetime access to the workshop recording
The workshop will be available immediately in your private learning platform (we’ll send you logins when you register). Watch back whenever you need to support you in getting a clear, accurate diagnosis with your couples.
Total Value $550
Watch the Workshop For Only $47
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. (ACEP No. 7495)
You’re Protected By a 100% Money-Back Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll find this workshop helpful, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 14 days of purchase and
Is This Workshop For You?
- Work with couples and want more clarity and direction in early sessions.
- Are considering working with couples but feel overwhelmed at the complexity.
- Are curious about Relational Life Therapy and looking for a practical introduction to the model.
- Want a structured way to track whether their work is actually creating change.
If you work with couples and want your first sessions to feel more focused, purposeful, and effective – this training is for you.
Please note this workshop is not suitable for couples or individuals looking for therapy or relationship advice.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Relational Life Therapy (RLT)?
RLT is a transformative approach to couples therapy that addresses deep relational wounds, empowers couples to break free from harmful cycles, and helps them build healthy, thriving relationships. Using a 3-phase framework, it combines loving confrontation, trauma-informed techniques, and skill-building to create lasting change.
Do I need to be familiar with Relational Life Therapy to join?
No – this training is specifically designed for therapists and coaches who are new to Relational Life Therapy. You do not need prior RLT training to attend, however, those who do may find it a helpful refresher.
Is this appropriate for therapists who don’t specialize in couples work?
Yes – while much of the teaching will center around applying these techniques to couples work, the RLT model translates to working with individuals, too. Anyone who is working with relationships will find the approach helpful in understanding their clients’ repeating behaviors
How long will I have access to the workshop?
Forever – when you register, you will receive lifetime access to the workshop recording, so you can revisit the material as often as you need to.
Are Continuing Ed credit hours available?
Yes – 2 Continuing Ed credit hours are available free upon successful completion of a short online assessment. You’ll find your assessment inside the training on your private learning platform. You must complete the workshop in full and score 80% or higher to pass and receive your certificate. Learn more here.
What if this isn’t the right fit for me?
We offer a 14-day money-back guarantee. If you watch and feel the workshop didn’t deliver value, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 14 days of purchase and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
I have more questions – who can I speak to?
Please email us at support@terryreal.com and we’ll be happy to help.
Here’s Everything You’ll Receive
Instant access to 3-hour workshop with Terry Real with Q&A
- Discover the powerful data-gathering tool to help you clearly and precisely diagnose what’s really going on with a couple – quickly.
- Learn how to confidently present your diagnosis back to clients in a way that builds their trust and hope in the work.
- Explore how to use that diagnosis to track the effectiveness of the treatment, so you keep sessions focused and moving toward real, lasting change.
⭐Includes demos from Terry so you can see the tool in action before you apply it yourself.
Lifetime access to the workshop recording
The workshop will be available immediately in your private learning platform (we’ll send you logins when you register). Watch back whenever you need to support you in getting a clear, accurate diagnosis with your couples.
Total Value $550
Watch the Workshop For Only $47
Includes 2 Continuing ED Credits*
Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. (ACEP No. 7495)
You’re Protected By a 100% Money-Back Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll find this workshop helpful, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of purchase, we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
