Join the Sex and RLT LIVE course starting March 11th, 2025.

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Sex and RLT: The New LIVE Course from the Relational Life Institute

Transform Your Clients’ Relationship To Sex, Desire & Pleasure – Within Themselves and With Their Partner

Join senior RLT therapist Anna Sterk—and expert guest teachers—to discover the practical tools to help clients understand and overcome their blocks to desire and enjoy fulfilling sexual connections.

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Here’s An Overview of Everything You Get In  Sex and RLT

“Our sex life brings to the fore the most vulnerable parts of us coupled with the least skill.” 
— Terry Real

5 LIVE 90-minute Classes with Anna Sterk from RLI Faculty

Join senior RLT therapist and educator Anna Sterk for an in-depth exploration of how RLT can apply to sex and desire. Anna will be joined by two external experts for classes 3 and 4: Belinda Berman-Real (trauma therapist) and Dr. Lori Davis (sexologist).
The LIVE classes take place on the following dates:
  • Class 1: Tuesday, March 11, 12–1:30 pm ET
  • Class 2: Thursday, March 13, 12–1:30 pm ET
  • Class 3: Thursday, March 20, 12–1:30 pm ET (with Belinda Berman-Real)
  • Class 4: Tuesday, March 25, 12–1:30 pm ET (with Dr. Lori Davis)
  • Class 5: Tuesday, April 1, 12–1:30 pm ET

3 Bonus Q&A Calls with Anna

Join Anna for bonus Q&A calls throughout the course to allow more space to ask questions that come up & deepen your understanding.
The bonus Q&A calls take place on the following dates:
  • Call 1: Tuesday, March 18, 12–1pm ET
  • Call 2: Thursday, March 27, 12–1pm ET
  • Call 3: Thursday, April 3, 12–1pm ET

Lifetime Access to The Class Recordings and Course Material

Refer back to the material as many times as you need to support your work. 

Plus a special bonus from Terry Real…

Confidently Handle Couples on the Brink of Disaster

3-hour Workshop Recording With Terry Real

Discover the trusted 3-phase framework to help you guide even the most challenging couples into connection and intimacy in this exploratory workshop from the creator of Relational Life Therapy.

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7.5 CEs are available for this course → Learn more

It’s a Common Misconception That If You Transform the Relationship, a Couple’s Sex Life Will Naturally Improve…

 But in reality, that’s often not the case. Even in relationships where partners feel deeply connected and communicate well, sex can remain a challenge. Among our RLT therapists, we see countless couples who report strong emotional intimacy but struggle with desire, pleasure, and sexual connection.
 
So if they’re relating well in every other aspect, why isn’t that translating to the bedroom?
 

The truth is, sex is a part of a relationship—an important one—it can’t be isolated and it also can’t be treated by only addressing the relational dynamics. It requires a nuanced approach to address the many different factors at play, such as our internalized beliefs and cultural conditioning. 

And Here’s the Greater Challenge…

Even among therapists, sex is an area we often shy away from. Many clinicians don’t feel equipped to discuss it effectively. Our own conditioning, comfort levels, and blind spots can get in the way, making it difficult to guide clients through their most vulnerable
challenges in this area.

That’s exactly why we created our brand new course, Sex and RLT. This live online course will equip you with a framework for integrating sex into relationship therapy in a way that is nuanced, direct, and profoundly transformative. 

What makes Sex and RLT different?

Traditional sex therapy approaches often focus on individual dysfunctions or techniques, but RLT goes beyond that. In Sex and RLT, you’ll discover a relational approach to sexual connection.

You’ll learn how to:

  • Identify clients’ “sexual stance” & the “sexual dance” it creates in their relationships.
  • Transform internalized perceptions about sex, desire, and gender roles.
  • Help clients identify, express, and negotiate their desires with love and respect.
  • Work with the impact of trauma on sexual connection—and know when to refer out.
  • Adapt RLT skills to sex, including winning strategies for sustained sexual connection.

Most importantly, this course acknowledges that talking about sex—both for therapists and for clients—requires skill, self-awareness, and confidence.

Led by senior RLT therapist and educator Anna Sterk, along with guest experts Belinda Berman-Real (trauma specialist) and Dr. Lori Davis (sexologist), Sex and RLT gives you the practical tools and deep insights needed to help your clients navigate sex, pleasure, and desire with clarity and confidence.

Enroll Now

What You’ll Learn

Explore the Sex and RLT curriculum.

CLASS 1

The Myth of the Happy Relationship: The Impact of Patriarchy on Sex and Sex Therapy

  • Tuesday, March 11, 12–1:30 PM ET

You’ll explore:

  • Sex therapy models to date, from Masters and Johnson to relationship therapy-based approaches.
  • The limitations of binary models and how RLT can help us move beyond.
  • Challenging a core myth of traditional sex therapy: that a healthy relationship automatically leads to a fulfilling sex life.
  • Why sexual desire can remain low, even in secure relationships.
  • The influence of societal beliefs and cultural conditioning on sex and gender roles, including:
  • Spontaneous vs. responsive desire.
  • Desire discrepancy.
  • Physical desire cues – how men are socialized to recognize them while women are conditioned to suppress them.

CLASS 2

RLT’s Approach to Sex: Where Are We Going Next?

  • Thursday, March 13, 12–1:30 PM ET

You’ll explore:

  • Relational Life Therapy’s approach to sex to date.
  • How RLT goes beyond other current sex therapy models to provide an insight into what’s in the way of attending to pleasure and desire.
  • Exploring "whole-person sexuality."
  • Are we approaching sex from First Consciousness (Adaptive Child) or Second Consciousness (Wise Adult)?
  • Identifying a client’s sexual stance and a couple’s sexual dance.
  • Healing our inner relationship with sex.
  • Understanding the three parts of the psyche in RLT:
  • Wise Adult, Adaptive Child, Wounded Child
  • The different characteristics of the Adaptive Child and Wise Adult (and how they affect our relationship to sex and sexuality).

CLASS 3

Trauma and Sex: The Impact of Trauma on Sexual Connection with Belinda Berman-Real

  • Thursday, March 20, 12–1:30 pm ET 

You’ll explore:

  • How to take a trauma-informed approach to sex therapy:
  • Understanding the impact of current and past trauma on how we think, feel, and respond to sex and desire.
  • The impact of leaky parental boundaries on the development of Sexual First Consciousness and the need to address it in the development of Sexual Second Consciousness.  relationship with sex.
  • How to identify when inner child work is needed, and signs of deeper trauma:
  • What to look for. 
  • When to refer out.

CLASS 4

Moving Beyond the Binds of Heteronormative Socialization and Gender Roles in Sex with Dr. Lori Davis

  • Tuesday, March 25, 12–1:30 pm ET

You’ll explore:

  • The historic binds around playing with gender and gender roles in sex and pleasure.
  • How approaching sex and sexuality from our First Consciousness (Wise Adult) changes our experience:
  • Overcoming socialization to embrace authentic sexual interests.
  • The critical role of consent.
  • Introducing the Desire Discrepancy Grid – an RLT tool for understanding how we respond to our own experiences of desire, perceptions of our partner’s desire, and potential disconnection from First Consciousness.
  • How RLT’s Harmony, Disharmony, and Repair cycle applies to sex:
  • The Losing Strategies that affect sexual connection during the disharmony phase.
  • Viewing pleasure through the lens of RLT: True pleasure is only accessible from the Wise Adult self.
  • Bringing our desire into relationality: How we can express and negotiate our desires with love and respect for our partners.

CLASS 5

Developing Sexual Second Consciousness: Practical Applications for Addressing Desire Discrepancy, Sexless Marriage & Lifelong Pleasure

  • Tuesday, April 1, 12–1:30 pm ET

You’ll explore:

  • Addressing challenges in treating sexual-related challenges as relational practitioners.
  • Applying RLT tools to treat desire discrepancy and create lasting sexual connection.
  • Creating balance in sexual connection ("same-as") by teaching couples to:
  • Express desires openly.
  • Negotiate differences.
  • Grieve unmet desires without resentment.
  • Adapting core RLT skills and interventions to sex:
  • Specific ways to use communication frameworks and skills, including the Feedback Wheel and Loving Power.
  • How to apply RLT’s Winning Strategies to sexual connection to help couples move from disharmony into repair and sustained connection. 
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For me, 'Joining through the truth' is a piece of the jigsaw that has been missing in therapeutic training. Although in my own practice, I have 'joined in truth'  at times with clients that have been high on the grandiose scale, there has never been a framework that allows me to identify both the path in and the path out.
— Judith Balcazar
— Judith Balcazar
I have seen clients that have been stuck for years/decades begin to show growth and move towards their authentic self with pride, dignity and confidence that they’ve never experienced before. Life Changing….
— Stephanie Lott
— Stephanie Lott
Some of the things I love about Terry Real and his work are the practical steps, down-to-earth guidance and his model of having the courage and respect to be honest with couples when one partner is behaving in a way that needs to be addressed first.
— Rachel M.
— Rachel M.

Enroll in Sex and RLT Today

Choose the payment option that best suits you. 

Single Payment

$495

3 x Monthly Payments

$175

Our Promise and Guarantee

We’re confident you’ll love Sex and RLT, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked. 

About Your Teachers

Anna Sterk

LMFT, Senior RLT Therapist & Educator

A certified RLT therapist since 2017, Anna Sterk (she/her), is a senior member of the Relational Life Institute Faculty. Her clinical career has been focused on systems and relationships from the beginning. She has worked in community mental health, eating disorder treatment, and private practice.

As she worked with couples and sexuality, Anna found that the way sex was discussed in trainings—and Western culture at large—didn’t match what she was seeing in her office. She drew on her history of training in feminist and cultural studies, integrated with her training as a systemic therapist, to find a way of working with couples—and sex and sexuality specifically—that really took root when she began studying with Terry Real in 2012. 

She found that RLT provided the framework, techniques, and skills that made the abstract ideas make sense and created the path that Anna’s life and work have taken since that first training. Anna is now at the forefront of shaping how RLT tools and principles can translate to sex therapy, helping transform our relationships to sex—both within ourselves and with our partners

Belinda Berman-Real

M.A., M.F.T., C.S.A.T.

Belinda Berman-Real has worked with individuals, couples, and families from all walks of life in Cambridge and Newton, Massachusetts, for over 25 years.

For much of that time, she has supervised and taught therapists of all disciplines — psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers — in four areas: trauma work, addictions recovery, couples counseling, and individual therapy. 

Belinda’s therapy approach is to get to the heart of things thoroughly and efficiently.  It is compassionate and active, collaborative and directive, giving clients the help they need to make their lives and relationships as good as they deserve to be.

She specializes  in sex addiction recovery, trauma recovery, and couples issues. I offer individual therapy, couples therapy, groups, and workshops. In Sex and RLT, she will join Anna for Class 3 to share her insights on taking a trauma-informed approach to sex therapy. 

Dr. Lori Davis

M.A., M.F.T., C.S.A.T.

Belinda Berman-Real has worked with individuals, couples, and families from all walks of life in Cambridge and Newton, Massachusetts, for over 25 years. 

For much of that time, she has supervised and taught therapists of all disciplines — psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers — in four areas: trauma work, addictions recovery, couples counseling, and individual therapy. 

Belinda’s therapy approach is to get to the heart of things thoroughly and efficiently.  It is compassionate and active, collaborative and directive, giving clients the help they need to make their lives and relationships as good as they deserve to be.

She specializes  in sex addiction recovery, trauma recovery, and couples issues. I offer individual therapy, couples therapy, groups, and workshops. In Sex and RLT, she will join Anna for Class 3 to share her insights on taking a trauma-informed approach to sex therapy. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this course live?

Yes—this course consists of 5 LIVE 90-minute classes and 3 bonus 60-minute Q&A calls, all led by Anna Sterk from the RLI Faculty. 

The classes take place on the following dates and times:

90-minute LIVE classes with Anna Sterk:

  • Class 1: Tuesday, March 11, 12–1:30 pm ET
  • Class 2: Thursday, March 13, 12–1:30 pm ET
  • Class 3: Thursday, March 20, 12–1:30 pm ET (with Belinda Berman-Real)
  • Class 4: Tuesday, March 25, 12–1:30 pm ET (with Dr. Lori Davis)
  • Class 5: Tuesday, April 1, 12–1:30 pm ET

60-minute Bonus Q&A calls:

  • Call 1: Tuesday, March 18, 12–1pm ET
  • Call 2: Thursday, March 27, 12–1pm ET
  • Call 3: Thursday, April 3, 12–1pm ET

Don’t worry—all classes will be recorded and stored in your private learning platform, the RLT Hub, for you to watch at your convenience. You’ll receive log in and access details as soon as you enroll.

Forever! You’ll have lifetime access to the class recordings inside the private learning platform, to watch back as many times as you like. 

Yes—7.5 CEs are available for professionals who attend all 5 live calls with Terry Real for an additional $40 fee. Find more information on CEs here.

A limited number of 50% scholarships are available for those with financial need. Please email us at support@terryreal.com with a brief outline of the following: your financial ability, ethnic background, and how you plan to use your learnings from this course (250 words max).

We’re confident you’ll love Sex and RLT, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked. 

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CE REQUIREMENTS:

The Relational Life Institute is pleased to offer:

Working With Men

Relational Life Institute (RLI) has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 7495. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. Relational Life Institute (RLI) is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.

ACEP No. 7495

FORMAT: A LIVE Online Course facilitated by Terry Real, LICSW; and Julie Rudiger, LCSW

Continuing Education credits offered: 12  credit hours

Course Description:

Over eight live online classes, learn the skills to engage, motivate, and create breakthrough change with resistant male clients in this live, practice-focused training led by renowned couples therapist and male-psychology expert Terry Real, alongside RLT Faculty Member Julie Rudiger, LCSW. Grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the course unpacks how patriarchal conditioning and performance-based self-worth fuel disconnection, defensiveness, and shutdown, then shows you how to build trust with even the most challenging men through clear, compassionate confrontation that preserves the therapeutic alliance. You’ll learn to create effective leverage for transformation without triggering collapse, withdrawal, or escalated resistance; tailor interventions for the three common presentations—“boys, bullies, and avoiders”; and reframe masculinity so emotional expression is aligned with strength, honor, and integrity rather than weakness. Through demonstrations and actionable tools from both instructors, you’ll guide men in trauma healing and relational skill development that supports healthier partnerships and parenting. Leave with a concrete RLT roadmap you can use immediately to help clients move from resistance to responsibility and from disconnection to genuine intimacy.

Learning Objectives: At the completion of this course, participants can expect to be able to:

  • Summarize the cultural shaping of masculinity and its consequences.
  • Recognize shame and grandiosity as dual defenses tied to male self-worth.
  • Develop skills to help men shift from defensiveness to compassion.
  • Identify how shame and performance-based esteem show up in male clients.
  • Discuss culturally sensitive ways to challenge entitlement and grandiosity.
  • Identify and work with three major types of difficult men: boys, bullies, and avoiders.
  • Describe how to use leverage as a tool to create change.
  • Identify patterns of resistance in men and learn how to engage them effectively.
  • Utilize leverage to create internal or external motivation for change.
  • Illustrate empowerment to the partner or family system to create pressure that opens the door to transformation.
  • Compare and differentiate between their wounded child, adaptive child, and functional adult selves.
  • Develop an internal caregiving relationship with their inner children rather than expecting partners to repair old wounds.
  • Demonstrate full relational responsibility as an adult, especially in high-conflict, high-defensiveness relationships.

Target Audience: Social Workers, MFTs, Counselors, Substance Abuse Counselors, Nurses, and LMHCs, LMFT’s, Educators, Coaches, Chemical Dependency Counselors 

Course Content Level: The course content is appropriate for Beginner level clinicians.

Cost:   $497 or three payments of $197 each.

Course Date & Hours:   

1pm-2:30pm Eastern Time on:

September 10, 17, 24; October 1, 8, 2025 

TO REGISTER: https://relationallife.com/working-with-men

Cancellation Policy: You may cancel your registration up until September 16, 2025

Please contact support@terryreal.com if you wish to cancel.

If you need special accommodations or have questions, please contact us at support@terryreal.com 

Please contact our Support team if you have any questions support@terryreal.com 

Instructor’s Bio:

Terry Real, LICSW: Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and most recently Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship just debuted in June 2022.  Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.   Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”

Julie Rudiger, LCSW has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for the last 30 years. In 2002, Julie opened her private practice, where she has helped hundreds of individuals and couples over the last two decades. Her professional journey took a transformative turn in 2008 when she began training with Terry Real, the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Julie has since used RLT to guide clients in discovering self-esteem, healing early wounds, and fostering deeper, more authentic relationships. A faculty member at the Relational Life Institute since 2022, Julie now trains other therapists and leads community workshops, including Men’s Groups and Relationship Skills Bootcamps. Additionally, she is trained in EMDR, ACT, DBT, Gestalt, and the Enneagram.

CONFLICT of Interest: There is no known conflict of interest or commercial support for this event.

Grievance Procedure:

If a student believes they have been discriminated against, they can submit a written complaint that includes their name, address, phone number, location, date, and a detailed description of the issue. If a student with a disability disagrees with the accommodation provided or has any other grievances, they can schedule a meeting to discuss and attempt to find a solution together. If the student is still not satisfied with the accommodation after further discussion, they can contact the Operations Director for

the Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan, via phone, email, or mail. If the grievance cannot be resolved, the complainant will be advised to contact the appropriate Ethics Committee or Licensing Board. The Operations Director will keep all grievances and their resolutions confidential in locked files.

A copy of this Grievance Procedure is available upon request.

Contact information: ACEP Administrator & Operations Director for Relational Life Institute (RLI), Lisa Sullivan follows: 291 Nahanton Street, Newton, MA 02459; 617-861-3030 lisa@relationallife.com