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Relational Life Therapy Level 1
🗓 Starts Tuesday, January 14
A Note From Terry Real
Welcome!
Connection has never felt more precious or critical. We have never wanted more from our relationships, not just our romantic relationships but friends, family, and children.
At no time in history has it been more clear that intimacy is life’s grail.
Yet divorce attorneys have never been busier. Perhaps this is because we all have lived in an anti-relational, addictive, narcissistic culture that may give lip service to the importance of relationships but has not taught us the skills to realize them.
As therapists, we can fill in those gaps. There is a world of relational technology that can be taught and mastered once we open to the need for it. We can give our clients those tools.
This is the basis of Relational Life Therapy (RLT)—my life’s work.
Developing my approach has been a thirty-year project. When I first got into the reality of practice, the couples who came to me were suffering, and the tools I had were inadequate for the task. So I made it my mission to figure out a way to bring relief, healing, and change to my clients.
After teaching RLT workshops all over the US, I created this online course to make the material available to more people. I designed RLT Level 1 to give you an in-depth introduction to the theory and practice of the RLT model. It is also the first step toward RLT certification and will prepare you for the Level 2 & 3 trainings.
I have seen this model help thousands of therapists get faster and more effective results for their clients.
In the kinds of cases I see, it can be quite detrimental to let therapy drag on. RLT allows you to go deep and understand the negative patterns in the relationship quickly to help clients make rapid and substantive changes.
I will give you the fruit of my life’s work in this training.
I encourage you to join me and my terrific faculty for 10 hours of training. You’ll join myself and Kate Harris from the RLI faculty for five 2-hour classes. I will lead the teaching through pre-recorded livestream lectures before Kate takes your questions LIVE to deepen your learning.
These sessions will be packed full of real case demonstrations so you can see how the techniques translate into practice.
I look forward to sharing the transformative power of RLT with you.
I look forward to sharing the transformative power of RLT with you.
I look forward to sharing the transformative power of RLT with you.
Warmly,
Terry
An Overview of What You Get Inside Relational Life Therapy Level 1
FIVE 2-Hour Classes with Terry Real and RLI Faculty
(Classes consist of pre-recorded lecture & couples therapy demos from Terry and LIVE Q&A with RLI Faculty)
Class 1: Tuesday, January 14, 12–2 pm ET
Class 2: Tuesday, January 21, 12–2 pm ET
Class 3: Tuesday, January 28, 12–2 pm ET
Class 4: Tuesday, February 4, 12–2 pm ET
Class 5: Tuesday, February 11, 12–2 pm ET
Lifetime Access to The Class Recordings and Course Material
Refer back to the material as many times as you need to help you make real self-esteem a lifelong practice.
A Supportive Community of Like-Minded Peers
Join your private community group to share your progress and give and receive support as you apply your learnings to your work.
Plus 3 special bonuses…
SPECIAL
BONUS 1
75-Minute RLT Couples Therapy Demonstration with Terry Real
Witness the speed and precision of RLT firsthand with an inside look at one of Terry’s full-length couples therapy sessions. You will observe RLT Phase 1 in action to help you cement your understanding of how the data gathering and diagnostic tools translate into practice.
SPECIAL
BONUS 2
60-minute interview with Terry and Gabor Maté
SPECIAL
BONUS 3
60-minute interview with Terry & Carol Gilligan
Discover the origins of Relational Life Therapy in this candid conversation between Terry and his colleague and friend, the feminist psychologist Carol Gilligan.
SPECIAL
BONUS 4
3 Video Clip Demonstrations From Our Faculty to Role-Play Key Learning Outcomes
Watch senior RLT therapists and trainers role-play as real couples while a practitioner showcases data-gathering techniques to gain deeper insight into RLT Phase 1 and key learning outcomes.
10 CEUs are available for this course.
What You’ll Learn
Explore the Relational Life Therapy Level 1 Curriculum
Class 1: What is Relational Life Therapy?
Tuesday, January 14, 12–2 pm ET
Discover the differences between RLT and traditional psychodynamic therapy. Also considered are the stances of “one-down shame” and “one-up grandiosity” in couples; according to RLT, true intimacy can only happen when partners are “same-as” with each other. RLT is about action and swift results, helping people to make major changes to the negative parts of their character, and the critical role and stance of the therapist is described.
Presented also are the concepts of Relational Mindfulness and psychological patriarchy.
Learning Objectives:
- Explain the 3 Phases of RLT and how RLT differs from traditional therapy
- Understand the RLT view of power imbalances in couples, of psychological patriarchy, and how these are addressed through therapy
- Describe the role and approach of the therapist in RLT
- Explain Relational Mindfulness and the “fight, flight, fix” responses
Class 2: Overview of Phase 1
Tuesday, January 21, 12–2 pm ET
Explore the reasons why, in RLT, data must be gathered as a first stage of therapy. Also laid out are the eight diagnostic lenses of RLT, and the first three explored in depth. The “stance, stance, dance” dynamic is explained, tools are given to describe each partner’s pattern and the dance that results, and the goal of therapy in working with this entire dynamic is expressed. Presenting problems, preconditions, and stance stance dance are explored.
Learning Objectives:
- List the seven lenses
- Explain the role of data gathering
- Understand how preconditions are addressed in RLT
Class 3: Data Gathering with RLT Diagnostic Lenses
Tuesday, January 28, 12–2 pm ET
Explore relational trauma and its impact on adult relationships. The three major family of origin roles are discussed, the 5 losing strategies explored, and advice is given on how to work with grandiose partners.
Learning Objectives:
- Differentiate the various losing strategies clients employ
- Describe the two kinds of boundaries
- Outline the major family of origin roles and how they play with stances
- Understand effective approaches to working with grandiose women as well as grandiose men
Class 4: Data Gathering with RLT Diagnostic Lenses Continued
Tuesday, February 4, 12–2 pm ET
The Relationship Grid diagnostic tool is laid out as a tool to help you identify each partner’s relational stance. You will also explore the two kinds of boundaries and self-esteem, with advice on how to work with grandiosity.
Learning Objectives:
- Explain the relational grid and track losing strategies against it
- Describe strategies for latent people
- Explain the difference between blatant and latent stances
- Understand that RLT requires that the latent person be a “relational champion” in therapy
- Understand the concept of leverage and how to use it
Class 5: Reconnecting the Blatant
Tuesday, February 11, 12–2 pm ET
This module focuses on empowering the latent, finding leverage, and reconnecting the blatant. From a neurobiological perspective we discuss how to create the right combination of stress and safety for promoting change. We explore how to work with the fears of the latent and the grandiosity of the blatant. Terry demonstrates joining through the truth with a blatant man.
Learning Objectives:
- Understand the concept of appropriate discrepancy and how it works with Neuroplasticity
- Understand types of leverage
- Know how to join through the truth
The Shift from Individualistic to
Relational Thinking
by Terry Real
Objective vs. Subjective Reality
“He won’t listen!” cries Lucy, flinging open her arms, as she sits on the edge of the couch, as if to implore me.
“I don’t get her,” says Stan, sinking his face in his hands, beleaguered, exhausted, as if to say, “No matter what I do…”
And then there’s me, watching, listening. Couples on the brink fly in to see me. Together we spend one or two full days working, at the end of which time we agree that you’re either back on track or divorcing. One way or another, this is the last stop. Lucy and Stan are on the edge of dissolution, have been for over a year. This past weekend was a disaster.
“So, what happened?” I ask.
Stan snorts. “This whole thing is ridiculous,” he declares, one leg pumping, impatient, annoyed.
Lucy cuts him off, taking charge. “We took two cars, for a weekend alone at our house on the Cape. Both were loaded with groceries. So, I can’t see out the back. Already I’m nervous. I don’t like driving at night. I ask Stan to stay by me, in case I… I don’t know, get lost, take a wrong turn, whatever.”
“She wanted me to keep an eye on her,” Stan tells me, wanting to hurry the story along. “Which I did.”
“Which you didn’t!” says Lucy.
“Which is exactly what I did. Look,” Stan turns to me, the arbiter. “I was winding my way through the traffic. I’m about two cars up ahead of her…”
“But I can’t see him,” Lucy interjects.
“I’ve got her square in my rearview mirror.” I look at Stan’s harried expression. I’m already sensing where this going. “She calls me, panicked, out of her mind. ‘You said you wouldn’t leave me!’ Already, she’s like screaming at me.”
“But you left me! After you said…”
“Okay,” I interrupt. “I think I’ve got it.” Stan and Lucy were caught in a typical who’s right / who’s wrong battle – hinging on their slightly different definitions of what it meant to “be there for” Lucy. To Lucy, “being there” meant being right by her side. For Stan, it meant keeping an eye on her. Who was objectively right?
Who Was Objectively Right?
That’s a trick question. In marital relationships it’s never a matter of landing on the one true reality, but rather two people in need of negotiating differing subjective realities.
Between the two, I sided with Lucy – a difference between RLT and other therapies. We take sides. Stan was factually correct but relationally incorrect. Was he, as promised, looking after Lucy to make sure she was alright? Yes, absolutely. And if Stan had been the one to make the request, he would have been fine.
But Stan wasn’t married to Stan. Lucy wanted the comfort of Stan by her side, in sight of her. It wasn’t his aid she was after, but the reassurance of his company. In this instance – as in so many others just like it, Lucy assured me, Stan didn’t “get it.”
He missed the point because he wasn’t thinking relationally.
Shifting into
Relational Thinking
Even though on the brink of divorce, Stan wasn’t a bad guy. What he argued so vehemently for, the point he got so defensive about was, in fact right – in the linear, individualistic, Newtonian world we all live in. But I have a saying, “You can be right, or you can be married. What’s more important to you?”
Repair & Reconnection
I turn to Stan: “In this moment, right now, ask yourself, would you rather make the case that you’re right or would you rather make peace with your wife and help her feel better?”
“Meaning?” he says, tentative but listening.
“Turn to your wife right now and tell her something from the heart,” I coach him.
And, bless him, with a little encouragement, he tries it.
“Lucy,” he takes her hand. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if you felt so abandoned that day.”
“And you’re sorry you didn’t hear her,” I add.
“I am,” he says. “Really. No BS. I wish I could have listened better.” Stan looks at his wife’s tearful face.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for years,” she says, crying, her body straining toward him.
“Wanna hug from the guy?” I ask her and she lurches forward, reaching for him.
“Take your time,” I tell them, as Stan rocks her gently. “Take all the time you need.”
Stan’s well-meaning but misguided loyalty to “sorting things out,” that is, determining the one right reality about it, deprived them both of moments like the one they had now in my office. Moments of repair.
When Stan stopped defending himself and instead tended to his wife’s bruised feelings, she felt heard, the chasm between them was bridged, and everyone could breathe again.
Here’s Everything You Get Inside Relational Life Therapy Level 1
-
FIVE 2-Hour Classes with Terry Real and RLI Faculty
(A blend of pre-recorded livestream lecture with Terry and LIVE Q&A with faculty)
- Lifetime Access to The Class Recordings and Course Material
- A Supportive Community of Like-Minded Peers
Plus 4 special bonuses…
SPECIAL
BONUS 1
75-Minute RLT Couples Therapy Demonstration with Terry Real
SPECIAL
BONUS 2
60-minute interview with Gabor Maté
SPECIAL
BONUS 3
60-minute interview with Carol Gilligan
SPECIAL
BONUS 3
3 Video Clip Demonstrations From Our Faculty to Role-Play Key Learning Outcomes
Upgrade Today at 50% Off
Regular price: $497
Only on this page: $249
You’re Protected by our Money-Back Guarantee
We’re confident you’ll be happy with the Relational Life Therapy Level 1 Training. However, if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, simply contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll give you a full refund, no questions asked.
Meet Your Teachers
Terry Real,
Creator of Relational Life Therapy
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker.
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist, sought-after speaker, and bestselling author, who has transformed how we approach relationships.
He is the creator of Relational Life Therapy (RLT), a groundbreaking therapeutic approach that equips people with the essential relational skills to build and sustain authentic connections—to themselves, each other, and the planet as a whole.
The author of four books, Terry’s most recent is the New York Times bestseller, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which guides readers toward deeper intimacy and fulfillment.
Known as “the turnaround guy,” Terry is famous for his extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce. Through his esteemed training school, the Relational Life Institute, he has trained thousands of mental health practitioners in his RLT method to date.
Terry is committed to relational empowerment, helping everyone develop the skills needed for meaningful, lasting relationships.
Kate Harris,
PhD in Private Practice, Dover, NH and PSYPACT
Kate is a Clinical Psychologist and a certified Martha Beck, North Star Coach. In 2015, she watched Terry Real work with 5 couples and was committed to becoming an RLT therapist, in part, because RLT honours “the worth and dignity of all people” and aligns clearly with Kate’s values.
Attending Terry’s Bootcamp in 2017 with her husband gave them tools that they use to stay close to each other and deepened their 32-year relationship. Kate became an RLT certified therapist in 2018 and is excited to join the faculty and share what she has learned.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this course live?
Each class is a mix of pre-recorded lecture and live Q&A. You will first watch the pre-recorded lecture (and therapy demos) of roughly 60 minutes with Terry Real, which will be livestreamed. You will then join Kate Harris, senior RLT therapist, for an LIVE in-depth Q&A on the material to deepen your understanding and further explore practical aspects.
All elements of the training will be recorded and stored within your private learning platform.
When are the classes?
The classes take place on the following dates and times:
Class 1: Tuesday, January 14, 12–2 pm ET
Class 2: Tuesday, January 21, 12–2 pm ET
Class 3: Tuesday, January 28, 12–2 pm ET
Class 4: Tuesday, February 4, 12–2 pm ET
Class 5: Tuesday, February 11, 12–2 pm ET
(All classes will be recorded and stored within your private learning platform.)
Are CEUs available?
Yes—10 CEs are available if you attend all five classes live. See more details here.
How long will I have access to the course?
Forever! All course materials, including the call recordings, will be stored in your private learning platform (the RLT Hub) for you to review at your convenience.
Are scholarships available for this course?
A limited number of partial scholarships are available for those with financial need. Please email us at support@terryreal.com with a brief outline of the following: your financial ability, your unique situation or challenge you are facing, and how you plan to use your learnings from this course (2-3 sentences max).
Is Relational Life Therapy Level 1 part of the RLT Certification?
Yes—when you enroll in the RLT Certification (our deepest training in the RLT), you automatically receive access to RLT Level 1. Find more information on the RLT Certification here.
What is your money-back guarantee?
We’re confident you’ll enjoy Relational Life Therapy Level 1, but we offer a 100% money-back guarantee for your peace of mind. If, for whatever reason you’re not completely satisfied, please contact us at support@terryreal.com within 48 hours of the first live call and we’ll issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
I don’t currently work with couples. Can I still take the training?
Yes! RLT is useful in preparing you to work effectively with couples, but it is also helpful in your work with individuals. Learning how to compassionately tell the truth to your clients, work with grandiosity, and gather data to identify dysfunctional patterns will all benefit your 1:1 sessions, too.
I still have questions. Who can I speak to?
Please reach out to our support team at support@terryreal.com.
