… And What It’s Costing Your Couples Work
with Desirae Ysasi, LPC-S, RLI Director of Training
🗓 Monday, May 11 | 1–2:30 PM ET
Can’t attend live? Register anyway and we’ll send you the replay.
You’re in session with a couple, and there’s a dynamic already live – whether or not any of you has said it.
One partner holds a racial or cultural position the other does not. And from the moment the session began, the minority partner was already doing work you haven’t asked them to do – reading the room and softening their language so the conversation could go where it needed to go.
You can see it if you know where to look. One of them is upregulating, translating themselves into a frame the session – and the therapist – can receive. And you might wonder: “Should I name this?” Then another thought, right behind it: “Hm, better not if they haven’t.”
Except by not naming it, we’ve already made a choice. We’ve indirectly told our client that in this space, too, the work of bringing identity into the work is theirs to do alone.
That’s not neutrality, that’s upholding power imbalance. And it’s why so many well-trained and well-intentioned practitioners stay stuck with these couples, wondering why the skills and interventions never quite land.
Last year, in a live couples session being observed by practitioners, Terry Real was working with a biracial couple when one audience member asked the question most of us would have swallowed:
“Why didn’t you have more of a discussion on race in your session?”
Neither Terry nor either partner had brought race up. But Justine had seen what the session wasn’t yet naming.
When Terry went back and asked directly, what surfaced changed the course of the therapy…
You’ll see what happened in this live training session.
Register for free to:
Watch real session footage of Terry Real working with a biracial couple – including the moment the question was raised, and the work that followed.
Hear from Justine directly – the therapist who asked the question, on what she saw that the session wasn't yet naming.
Explore the social-cultural diagnostic lens we use in RLT for bringing race, culture, and identity into couples work, without freezing or overstepping.
Join live Q&A to deepen your understanding of how to bring this lens into your own sessions.
Desirae Ysasi, LPC-S, is a relationship therapist based in San Antonio, Texas, and the founder of Relational Life Texas, a group practice specializing in Relational Life Therapy (RLT).
A Certified RLT Therapist trained directly by Terry Real, she brings 20 years of experience helping clients create more intimate, connected relationships. Desirae also serves as Director of Training and Certification at the Relational Life Institute, where she trains therapists and coaches worldwide in the RLT model.
Desirae is passionate about helping clinicians integrate courage, authenticity, and wholehearted intervention into their work with couples.
whose insight and support have deeply shaped my growth. She lives and breathes the RLT model and relationality—her ability to consistently apply the RLT lens gently course-corrects my own. She listens with intention, challenges with compassion, and offers guidance that is both practical and profound. I feel incredibly fortunate to have learned from her.”
Nancy Pickard, Certified RLT Relational Coach & Master Integrative Coach
Her active and engaged style of instructing has assisted me in discovering my personal growth edges and meeting those with compassion. She has a great ability to sense into the group she is working with, being attuned to their needs and inviting participation to ensure all are receiving and integrating the instruction.”
Jessica Johnson, LMFT-Associate; LPC-Associate, Certified RLT Therapist
When I think about how I used to approach my work with couples and how I approach my work now… I didn’t know what I was doing, but I didn’t know I didn’t know. Now, I have this clarity and knowledge about what it is that I can deliver to them that’s going to be helpful.”
Brenda Forster, Clinical Counsellor, M.Ed., R.C.C. Kelowna, BC
Even in difficult cases like infidelity, I was able to handle so much more effectively because of RLT… It’s a very effective way to be with a client.”
Nasim Mughal, Licensed Psychotherapist Karachi, Pakistan
As soon as you register, we’ll send you an email with your link to join the training. You will have the option to add the training to your calendar for convenience and we will also send you the link to join again via email the day before and an hour before the training starts.
Yes – everyone who registers receives the replay link, regardless of whether they attend live. The live session includes a Q&A segment that only live attendees can participate in – but the full teaching and case footage is captured in the replay.
Licensed therapists, coaches, and practitioners working with couples or relationships. It’s designed for anyone who wants to explore race, culture, and identity into their clinical sessions without freezing, overstepping, or leaving the work to marginalized clients.
No – while some training in the model may be beneficial, this training is designed to be accessible to therapists and coaches working in any modality.
Identity is live in every session – including the ones where it seems invisible because the therapist and client seemingly share a position. Learning to name your social location becomes invaluable in understanding what power dynamics may be operating in your sessions, as well as in your clients’ relationships.
Can’t attend live? Register anyway and we’ll send you the replay.
Can’t attend live? Register anyway and we’ll send you the replay.
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